will I forget my child...
after my last journal I would like to write. As long as we mom's live, we will never forget our child. They are a part of us. We fear forgetting their voice, their smile just them. I do not think we wii. I have a neighbor friend whos daughter passed away many years ago. After I lost Ken we talked and she shared that even though she has been gone 40 plus years but it seems yesterday she was sitting on my couch. I can even see her sitting there now It will always be yesterday for us mom's. They will never be forgotten. It changes. The pain lessens some yet if we let ourselves at least Ican go right back and everything is there in my mind. As the day he sat on my couch almost 20 years ago way before he got ill I can still see him and his brothers laughing so hard. Those memories are ours and we will always remember our child. As time passes it is not we are forgetting it is the pain is not as harsh. Our bodies could not handle the deep pain we felt for a long time. If we do not move forward past the deep depression, the deepest broken hearts one can feel. We would not survive ourselves. That does not mean we are forgetting we are using ways that helps us to survive. I think it is okay but at times feel guilty that I am moving forward but I know that my Ken would want that. I look at it like this sometimes I forget to pray does not mean I have forgotten him. It is just sometimes our minds are full of other things, but our child wil always be there. I am not sure we can ever forget...just like cleaning our house we take a break but we never forget our home is still there. So is it with our child they will always be a part of us even as time goes forward we do have to learn to survive. Survival is different then forgetting. For those who wrote me about forgetting They are a part of you. Your just taking steps to survive. Just as God does not forget us. We will not forget. We are just different. Our children will always be in our hearts.
Replies
Thank you for sharing this Sandi. You are so right. We will never forget and if we stayed in that dark place too long we would not survive. We carry on with our lives to honour our kids.
Love and hugs,
Marlene
Well said. You are so right. Life is precious, we must survive. Love, Abby
Great journal entry, Sandi. We all went through so much in those first years of feeling guilty, thinking we are forgetting. Trying to conjure up their voices and faces in our minds. Until we finally face ACCEPTANCE and begin the part of the journey that involves healing. Hugs, Belinda
Thank you for this journal!
(((hugs)))
Very true and profound journal Sandi. Thank you so much for sharing your wise thoughts here.
When my daughter asked me how my Compassionate Friends meeting was last night, I told her that there were a lot of newly bereaved parents and that when I look at them I realize how far I\'ve come since the beginning of this journey. I told her how I try to give them hope. She responded that with time you get in a calmer place where you\'re able to give support to people who are still dealing with the shock. Because even though there\'s a dagger in your heart, you know you\'re not going to bleed to death.
So very true...
Love and Hugs,
Diane
Thanks, for writing a very insightful journal. You have explained things well. Yes, oh yes, we do not forget !!
(((HUGS)))...Julia
So true, we will never forget them...... but sometimes it hurts so much to remember.
Hugs .. Mari