Will i ever be okay?

This entry is a little different and i feel embarassed talking about it. I have an exboyfriend from high school who is fixing to be a father next month. Ever since i found out, i was at first in complete shock, i was surprised but later i find my self , upset and i'm crying. I have been over this guy for years now but its hard when i live around the corner from where he lives and live in the same small town, hard to get over.I just want to know if i'll ever be okay? is it normal to feel this way? On top of that my mom is smoking again and that is really stressing me out. I'm just worried that even though she doesnt do it every day, shes hasnt smoked in years and now i'm afraid that if she starts up again, she wont stop. Idk anymore. There have been days when i'm so weak i cant reach for my happy medicine and i dont want to get out of bed, i'm sad all the time. I just want to enjoy life.