Why should I give a single
Fuk! About the people that left us high and dry during the cancer?? All of a sudden they're coming out of the wood work and wanting shit! How fuckin convenient! I'm pissed and agitated. Wife is all warm n fuzzy. It ain't right.
Replies
Keep writing it out...it's rough when that happens.
Anger channeling time. . . Whether I ultimately decide to give a flying fuck, a forgiving hug or one of the many possibilities between the extremes, anger can eat holes in my soul and infuse my system with highly addictive drugs stronger than what I can buy at any pharmacy. Venting that anger into safe channels is essential to regaining my full brain function. I honestly believe my brain shuts down when I am pissed. Detox required for recovery.
In my own anger management, writing is good for sorting and settling my anger, but when I get pissed, I needs to hit, holler and/or throw something. . . No metaphoring around, jerk-off. . . It's like this, like that and like this, uh-huh. . . You said WHAT!?!?!?!?!?
But that is me and every case is unique.
Continued support while you find what works for you.
For what it's worth
I've heard rumors that it's okay for spouses to feel differently about some things. Live and let live.
You got it wrong. I don't hit or break things. Ever and I never have. I'm pissed FOR my wife. These people that abandoned her during her fight with cancer are now suddenly trying to snuggle up. They deserve ire imo. But I will let her take the lead on it. My plan is to avoid them as much as I can. Yesterday for example, I left the house when mil came over for a visit.
Keep writing it out. Releasing those feelings safely will allow you to move through the process so you can be there for your wife.
Your wife is dealing with it in her own way, and sometimes, being nice throws everyone else off their usual behavior.
When I collapsed from kidney disease the first time in 2011 I was engaged to be married living in our future married couple home with my fiancée. She decided she knew better than doctors and I didn't have kidney damage from a psychiatrist who overprescribed me Seroquel for PTSD. Instead, she decided, I was just lazy. She arranged to sell the house right out from under me and left me in the street.
It wasn't cancer, then, but I was abandoned to kidney disease. So much for the future wedding vows, huh? As in "in sickness and in health 'til death do us part." I figure it was awful, but at least she saved me a divorce. I'd already been through 2 of those by then, I didn't need a 3rd one;
I never set her straight. I don't want to risk having such a person come back to me. Besides, ever 3 years or so since, I collapsed from kidney disease again with a short hospital stay to deal with. The last time was 2018 in a class I was teaching so I'm due again and watching out to cope with it if it happens again like it has.
I've coped with 4 collapses all on my own now so getting abandoned in that first one by my fiancée set me up for success in that regard. I don't have to explain myself to anyone when they happen again, just deal with it.