Why I say no
Life is short. Even if you live to be 120, what does that compare to eternity in Heaven. There is an ongoing discussion on DS about dating. Basically the morals of dating. I've had many years to ponder the dating situation as I've spent most of my life single.
I'm old-fashioned. Would have fit well into the 19th century where high moral standards among women were appreciated. I was as pure as the driven snow when I married, and would never consider sex outside of marriage, not even when DH and I were divorced and started dating again. I know many people have asked me why? Why didn't I participate in the sexual revolution? Why was I such a stick in the mud, ignoring the times I lived in.
My answer: Fear. I'm afraid of God.
The bible is clear on this. Fornication is not acceptable. It is a sin.
Let me make it clear. When I was coming of age in the seventies, I scanned the bible for hours, hoping to find somewhere in there where it said that fornication was okay. I'd hoped desperately that somewhere I'd find the line: It's okay if you love the person. Or it's okay if you have a committment. Or it's okay after 2000 years. Or it's okay if everyone else is doing it. Well, I didn't find it. So I was left with a decison everyone has the right to make: What did I want to do with my life? Should I please myself? Please everyone around me? Or please God?
I decided to please God.
In my eyes, no man is worth angering God. I will not take a chance with my soul for a man that I could simply marry. And any man who loves me will understand that. He wouldn't want me to be worried about what God would do to me. He would want the best for me. And if he doesn't, he is not worth having.
One day, I started to wonder why God would tell us not to indulge. Afterall, the animals outside are free to do whatever they want. The answer came quickly. Long before AIDS, I saw the women who'd been used and abused by men. Tossed away as if they were garbage. These women felt horrible because they'd given their hearts to these men. Some were left to raise children alone and the curse of their sin was passed down to their children who were raised without a father.
Let me say, I know this does not describe every relationship. There are plenty of people involved in healty relationships who did not follow my path, but to the victims of men simply looking for a one night stand, this is little consolation.
.
I won't even mention the diseases out there.
Now, I know there will be some who read this and say I'm judging them. That can't be further from the truth. I don't judge people. That's God's job. I would only judge people if God asked for help in this area. And if He did, I would let all sorts of people in Heaven. I wouldn't have the guts to turn anyone away. Heaven would be just like it is here on earth and maybe that's why God tell us not to judge. We're ill equiped for the job.
I once had a friend who asked me why I didn't believe in premarital sex. And I told her that it wasn't that I was so much against it. It's just that I hadn't met a man I was willing to go to hell for. I feel even stronger in that regard now. My husband is in Heaven and one day I fully intend to be by his side. I will not risk that for anything in the world.
I'm old-fashioned. Would have fit well into the 19th century where high moral standards among women were appreciated. I was as pure as the driven snow when I married, and would never consider sex outside of marriage, not even when DH and I were divorced and started dating again. I know many people have asked me why? Why didn't I participate in the sexual revolution? Why was I such a stick in the mud, ignoring the times I lived in.
My answer: Fear. I'm afraid of God.
The bible is clear on this. Fornication is not acceptable. It is a sin.
Let me make it clear. When I was coming of age in the seventies, I scanned the bible for hours, hoping to find somewhere in there where it said that fornication was okay. I'd hoped desperately that somewhere I'd find the line: It's okay if you love the person. Or it's okay if you have a committment. Or it's okay after 2000 years. Or it's okay if everyone else is doing it. Well, I didn't find it. So I was left with a decison everyone has the right to make: What did I want to do with my life? Should I please myself? Please everyone around me? Or please God?
I decided to please God.
In my eyes, no man is worth angering God. I will not take a chance with my soul for a man that I could simply marry. And any man who loves me will understand that. He wouldn't want me to be worried about what God would do to me. He would want the best for me. And if he doesn't, he is not worth having.
One day, I started to wonder why God would tell us not to indulge. Afterall, the animals outside are free to do whatever they want. The answer came quickly. Long before AIDS, I saw the women who'd been used and abused by men. Tossed away as if they were garbage. These women felt horrible because they'd given their hearts to these men. Some were left to raise children alone and the curse of their sin was passed down to their children who were raised without a father.
Let me say, I know this does not describe every relationship. There are plenty of people involved in healty relationships who did not follow my path, but to the victims of men simply looking for a one night stand, this is little consolation.
.
I won't even mention the diseases out there.
Now, I know there will be some who read this and say I'm judging them. That can't be further from the truth. I don't judge people. That's God's job. I would only judge people if God asked for help in this area. And if He did, I would let all sorts of people in Heaven. I wouldn't have the guts to turn anyone away. Heaven would be just like it is here on earth and maybe that's why God tell us not to judge. We're ill equiped for the job.
I once had a friend who asked me why I didn't believe in premarital sex. And I told her that it wasn't that I was so much against it. It's just that I hadn't met a man I was willing to go to hell for. I feel even stronger in that regard now. My husband is in Heaven and one day I fully intend to be by his side. I will not risk that for anything in the world.
Replies