Why I'm here.
I struggle with a lot of crap: Divorced parents, emotional abuse, sexual addictions, bipolar disorder, depression, compulsive lying and feelings of loneliness. But my biggest concern is that I don't have the right to feel this hurt. I feel like my problems and everything I've gone through pales in comparison to people who have it worse. So many times I've been told that I should stop crying, stop complaining, and stop feeling bad for myself because there are people who are starving and without homes. Consequently, I've kept my emotions all bottled up. Or worse, I exaggerate my problems. I can't explain why it hurts so much so I just make up a lie as to why I'm in so much emotional distress. My pain is never validated. So I'm here to quit lying. My hope is that if I can get help with my emotional pain here and if I can be 100% honest about what's causing my pain, I'll be able to quite lying to my loved ones. I want to be honest about my pain but I don't want them to think I'm just overreacting.
Replies
what you wrote is almost exactly how i feel. I struggle with the same things and my parents are divorced too.
Dear suicidal_liar,
Your disorders are real, and cause you much suffering. No matter how much someone is suffering, someone else can say, "Look how much more others suffer. You do not have the right to feel sorry for yourself!" Nonetheless, they are dead wrong for taking this attitude. Your pain is just as valid as anyone else's, and you, like everyone with a disability, disorder or disease, should be respected more than that. Realize that you are totally justified in feeling badly, and I do not think you are selfishly feeling sorry for yourself. Also, I see no dishonesty in what you have described here. (You may be dishonest somehow, but I do not see it here.) What you seem to be conveying is that you have tried to express your hurt and have been quashed insensitively, so you are timid about coming out and expressing pain over your disorders. Please be courageous and tell people who care how you feel. Get the support you deserve. I wish you the best of fortune in doing so, and I am faithful that you will have it.
Peace,
Jeff