Why I came here in the first place

Boyfriend lives with ex girlfriend and her husband Actually I ended our relationship 7/5/08 but of course I am running all kinds of scenarios through my head. We were friends for a couple of years then stated dating then fell in love and were "together" for 5 months. I knew he lived with his ex and her husband and 2 kids, (theres not his) and was ok with it untill I saw there relationship in action, (he lives 100 miles away). They kiss on the lips and kind of flirt. He told me before that she is his best friend and he can tell her anything. She saved his life when he was suicidal. Also her husband is kind of hard, rude to her sometimes and my boyfriend "takes care of her emotional needs" when the husband is complaining of her. Before we got together I remember him saying that he was the second husband in this 3 way marrage. I talked to him about these things but he would say she is like a sister to him and that he was sorry it bothered me. Oh yea, hes still married to his wife who left him 2 years ago for her ex (they have a 17 yo daughter together)His ex and her back again boyfriend. Other than that hes fantastic. He really cared for my 5yo son who has Autism and even went to a 2 day Autism conference with us. He was an all around gentelman and a great friend. Although his comunication with me began to fail. He couldnt come up as much with the price of gas and his company downsizing. He stopped texting me as much or as loving as he used to after I told him my being uncomfortable with his living situation. Anyway Im mourning a friendship and our relationship. Some days are better but my anxiety can go through the roof. Im trying not to question my decicion of breaking up with him although of course I still love him. He is friends of my choosen family so its not like Ill never see him again. Thats my big story right now. It hurts really bad. Im 38. Have 2 sons 18 and 5 years old. My youngest son has autism and will be entering kindergarten without an aid in the fall. My 18 yo son and his girlfriend live with me temporarily.