Why I am the way I am possibly

Dear Mr. J--I don't hardly know where to start this, but I have a few things I want to get off of my chest.  I feel as if I come on too strongly to get people to like me sometimes-particularly men.  I think I do this because of my poor body image due to my weight and because maybe I think my personality is not enough to keep them drawn to me as a friend so I turn to sex as a way to do just that.  When in reality, I probably end up pushing them away because I come off as some whore or too pushy, etc.  It seems to happen every time.  I just don't know how to stop.  I mean I am not saying it is not fun or whatever, but it leaves me feeling like shit.  SIGH.  SIGH AGAIN.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Hey Sweetie
If it bothers you and or upsets you then simply stop. I think perhaps the alcohol and or drugs lets us run a little too free sometimes lol
You are a special lady. Be good to you. You deserve it
deleted_user
deleted_user

hey been there and done that... and given the opportunity... will do it again... i do believe it is a deep rooted thing that we are dealing with... and if i had any libido at all... it may be a problem for me... but i don\'t have one anymore... hehehehe ... may be a blessing in disgueise (sp?)... but anyways... don\'t be so hard on yourself... you are only human and perhaps looking for some attention ... and if it is like jan says... a little reved up while a little high... it is just something coming out that needs some atttention .... perhaps... i am coming off the top of my head and i just woke up... so excuse me if i am way off base... i think that it is great that you are getting it off your chest if it is a bothering ya... i can identify with ya girlie... love and hugzzz... karen :)
ZanyBeeper
ZanyBeeper

My husband loves me very much and will do anything I ask of him, but he does not pay me much attention of his own volition. He used to but then again I used to demand it too. That gets old after a while. I don\'t want to have to demand attention. He should just give it to me because he loves me. I don\'t do drugs and drink all the time. Those two incidents were unusual for me. Last time I got drunk was New Years Eve. And the last time I had smoked pot was before that. When I start to feel lonely and unloved that leads to my feeling reckless which leads to bad behaviors on my part.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Each and every one of us feels shame to a certain degree...Mental illness amplifies these feelings until we feel helpless against our shame. This generally leads to shameful acts. I don\'t know the whole story and I don\'t have to, I know that you have a lot of courage for sharing and I am sure that if you keep doing it regularly, you will find that you can overcome it and succeed at creating a new life. But please, pick your support group wisely. Love, perry
ZanyBeeper
ZanyBeeper

You are wonderful Perry. I appreciate your insight very much. ;=)