Why i am feeling bad today
Yesterday I went out with some friends of my boyfriend.
I felt bad, felt I was ugly next to the other girl, and in some way, didn't like her friendship with my boyfriend, it seemed she knew him better than I do.
I felt bad because I remember I had no friends, not even the way he did, or in any way. I have no one to talk to about my problems. I used to hangout with some girls from the church but, for some reason, they just disappeared, and i feel bad about trying to connect again, because this always happen, i AM ALWAYS THE ONE who has to run after friendships. So I prefer not to talk too, but then I get really alone.
I have a job, which pays my bills, but that makes me feel horrible. I work with people a lot older than me. There is nothing to learn in what I do, I don't like it, i don't care about it and i FEEL miserable and it is very difficult to get up every day and go to that place.
My family doesn't talk too much with me. I visit them on weekends but I feel like I am a gosth that no one see and no one talks to.
I had six months of severe depression last year, I stopped worked and i AM STILL DEALING WIth financial problems that came from that situation.
Replies
I'm so sorry to hear about you feeling so lonely. I don't have many friends myself & my family is not really there for me. I totally understand what you mean about being the one to chase after or try to make a friendship works. It gets old fast. Have you thought about looking for a new job? One that will make you happier. & I saw you said you were depressed for a while last year. Do you think you might be going through that again? Hugs. Always here if you need someone to talk to. Hang in there.
Yes, i am at university, studying so thay i can get a new job. I think i may be depressed again? Maybe not like last year, but yes.