Why give up, Why give in

This Wednesday I go see the pulmonary doctor & then the surgeon for my gallbladder. Cannot let the stress of all that I am going thru get to me it’s normal for those feelings, gotta stay strong as I can won’t be no good to the wife or myself if I let the depression take hold of me. Have come to the understanding that my “rules” of pushing hard till I get thru the problem won’t work in regards to the cardiac arrest & PE. Having my gallbladder out scares the crap out of me I have to think about it till it comes out (fear of the unknown) my big event I was out after 45 mins, no thinking required. Yes I will slide back a little on my way up the mountain, but I’ll be DAMNED if I'm going to fall off it.