Why don't I see what everyone else sees in me?

If I had a nickle for every time a day someone tells me how strong I am and how great i'm doing I wouldn't have to worry about child or spousal support I could retire today. I just don't know why they say it. To encourage me maybe or give me more confidence that I can survive this??? My body has definatley transformed before my heart and spirit has. I feel more confident on the outside when I look at my body for sure but no matter how many times a day I manage to pass by a mirror or someone says " T oh my gosh girl where are you going everytime I see you your smaller." I still feel like ABSOLUTE CRAP on the inside. Just wearing smaller jeans and tank tops is not going to bring me happiness or joy. It doesn't help in the middle of the night when i'm scared and lonely. Of course now i'm not eating chocolate and french fries in the middle of the night to comfort me. I also notice that the stress has taken it's toll on my face. My eyes have way more crows feet around them and my skin looks blachey and yucky. I look like life has really started to take it's toll on me. Frown lines around my mouth I have cried so much there is no more moisture in my skin I think.
I know it seems silly to worry about these things but I always looked way younger than I am and now i'm starting to feel OLD AND THROWN AWAY.  People say i'm strong, and confident, smart and beautiful but I don't see it. I just see scared, sad,lonely and rejected. When I tell my friends i'm so tired of feeling this way they always say " Just stop feeling this way then" to me that's like telling an anorexic " JUST EAT ALREADY" It just doesn't work that way does it. I just want to see and believe what everyone else sees and believes in me. When will that day come??????????