why does my husband want to become a WOMEN? Its killing me slowly.

I gained over 80 lb.s from depression because my husband is military and I never been away from my family and Yet, not only that but he has officially came out and told me he wants too and will become a women. I quit my job even though it was a dream job I went to school because of the many sucide attempts I had so I thought I needed some time to figure myself out or else I was going to end my life. all my dreams literally shattered when I realized I am most likely not going to be having a family with this man who I invested 8 years into and 4 years marriage. Yeah I feel totally alone and I feel like nobody will understand this. To me its bull crap because I feel like I am drowning under so much stress that waking up is a nightmare. I just don't understand this. why I ask God because I have already went threw one death with a boyfriend of 3 years who died in my arms while we were walking along the road and we both got hit and he died infront of me and I didn't I am so angry . Angry at the fact that I tried hard and went to college and graduated and beat a lot of odds and yet I keep dealing with all this crap that I don't feel like I can deal with but yet in the bible it says god will not give you anything you cannot handle. okay well I feel like I am at my breaking point. If this is too much I am sorry I am angry more than sad because along time I was sad I don't get why this is happening and my roommate moved out knowing I quit my job so now we are so broke its literally another life changing life style. and I just don't know how many more life changing life styles I can take.I want to be positive but at this point I don't think I can make this change alone and I am severely overwhelmed by all the changes.I feel some overwhelming so I can't even imagine how this is for you. Things are changing so much in your life. It can be difficult to be positive all of the time. How have you been coping with this so far?Seriously, Reality hasn't been an option for me right now. So yes I been drinking occasionally to numb the pain and I know it makes you depressed more but when I try to stop I get sick and desperately crave it more and more until I feel the numbness to avoid all of this.Is any of this normal? I tried being okay with my husband wanting to become a women but I cant accept it without feeling the need to drink to erase the fact he wants to become a she.