Why do some people ALWAYS SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS...
It always seems to bother me how some people are meant to follow the rules, and others can simply play by their rules and ALWAYS GET AWAY WITH IT. All of my life I have always played by the rules always doing the right thing. Never taking to many chances always being the responsible, practical one. Always putting the family, bills, job, first. So why does it seem that he can still only play by his rules and there are no consequences for him AT ALL!!!! I FOLLOWED ALL THE RULES AND DID EVERYTHING MY LAWYER, MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS, AND MY GOD TOLD ME I NEEDED TO DO FOR MY FUTURE AND FOR THE KIDS. I filed for Divorce had him served got him in front of the Judge and even called Child Support Enforcement today to let them know he was already 3,000.00 behind.
Thinking that now he will get his there is no way they can let him get away with this. I mean every choice I make has a consequence, if I do this I can't do that. If I go out to the movies that's $40.00 that could be used for food or gas to get to work ect... Yet he can be $3.000.00 behind and tell me " I will pay you what I can when I can" and this is ok with everybody. He can go to Nascar races at $200.00 a pop instead of paying me my support. HOW IS THIS RIGHT IN ANY WAY???? He can just keep doing this to me for as long as he wants to and I have to go on the hope that SOME DAY THEY WILL CATCH UP WITH HIM. What the hell good is child support going to do me when Austin goes off to college. Who cares if he won't be able to buy a house in another 10 years HE NEEDS TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE NOW!!!!!
I just feel like all the Legal stuff I went through all the appointments and time missed from work was ALL FOR NOTHING!!!!! It's like he keeps walking out on me over and over again. With that condesending attitude " See I can do what I want and there is nothing you can do about it" This just makes my skin boil I have always taken the high road and been the better person and i'm thinking maybe I need to start being more nasty and mean. I mean like they say " Sometimes being a BITCH is all a woman has to hang on to" I'm tired of always being the sweet cool headed one who always forgives and always cares. I FEEL LIKE A FREAKING DOOR MAT!!! If I want to get him in front of the Judge again it's going to cost me more time and money and there is no guarantee he is going to pay even then so what's the freaking point. I FEEL TOTALLY DEFEATED RIGHT NOW..... At the end of the day the court orders for child support and spousal maintanence, the hours of Attorney fees, and thousands I lost in missed work hours didn't amount to squat... So now what??????
Thinking that now he will get his there is no way they can let him get away with this. I mean every choice I make has a consequence, if I do this I can't do that. If I go out to the movies that's $40.00 that could be used for food or gas to get to work ect... Yet he can be $3.000.00 behind and tell me " I will pay you what I can when I can" and this is ok with everybody. He can go to Nascar races at $200.00 a pop instead of paying me my support. HOW IS THIS RIGHT IN ANY WAY???? He can just keep doing this to me for as long as he wants to and I have to go on the hope that SOME DAY THEY WILL CATCH UP WITH HIM. What the hell good is child support going to do me when Austin goes off to college. Who cares if he won't be able to buy a house in another 10 years HE NEEDS TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE NOW!!!!!
I just feel like all the Legal stuff I went through all the appointments and time missed from work was ALL FOR NOTHING!!!!! It's like he keeps walking out on me over and over again. With that condesending attitude " See I can do what I want and there is nothing you can do about it" This just makes my skin boil I have always taken the high road and been the better person and i'm thinking maybe I need to start being more nasty and mean. I mean like they say " Sometimes being a BITCH is all a woman has to hang on to" I'm tired of always being the sweet cool headed one who always forgives and always cares. I FEEL LIKE A FREAKING DOOR MAT!!! If I want to get him in front of the Judge again it's going to cost me more time and money and there is no guarantee he is going to pay even then so what's the freaking point. I FEEL TOTALLY DEFEATED RIGHT NOW..... At the end of the day the court orders for child support and spousal maintanence, the hours of Attorney fees, and thousands I lost in missed work hours didn't amount to squat... So now what??????
Replies
I\'m not sure exactly how it works, but you file, and they attach their pay - this way you get it with every paycheck. Does he work? Is he getting a paycheck.
I\'m really sorry you are going through this - I know how frustrating it is.
I agree with KR there is a way---sorry dont know specifics,but you can have his pay attached to where his employment sends you the required amt every week .....may wanna call lawyer and see how that works,best of luck.
I will tell you it does work but you have to be persistent. His wages will be attached for the child support and possibly your spousal maintenance.
It took me a year to get the ex back into court and about $9,000. We got him into court once and he thought he still didn\'t have to pay me. He moved again. It took almost a full year to get my money. He fully understands that he will go to jail if this happens again. I will track him down. The first thing I told him when we divorced was don\'t play with my money or my life. That I would find him, I wasn\'t some foreign woman who had no options. That I am in the USA and he couldn\'t hide from me. Well he tried. He had to pay my back alimony, most of my atty. fees (my atty. is not cheap), a $1000 fine to the court and got super stern warnings from the judge who politely told him what a low life he is.
If I could do this you can to. Your ex is not trying to hide and you know where he is, where he works. Go after him and make him pay up. When you get your money make sure you save some of it for the next court date.
Yes, the ex will tell everyone I\'m a bitch but I\'m a first class bitch with my money in the bank.
I hope you get this figured out Disney. I don\'t have kids so the child support was one thing I didn\'t have to worry about. Plus my husband wasn\'t working at the time so no spousal support either.
I don\'t know why they think there are going to be no consequences. Mine is now complaining that he is being slandered by his former partners and that one mutual friend is now my friend. Well, he has slandered them so what does he expect. And the way he went about exiting the marriage and his behavior since has been pretty much despicable. Our former mutual friend is just disgusted.
Good luck with getting this settled.....cheaply.
Unfortunately, Disneymom\'s X is SELF-EMPLOYED which makes garnishment of wages impossible. Lycesq might have a more definitive answer on this, given the fact that she is a family law attorney.
Here in Maryland, when Child Support goes into arrears, the Department of Motor Vehicles gets involved and WILL NOT RENEW DRIVER\'S LICENSES OR AUTO REGISTRATIONS to anyone who is behind in Child Support. That\'s all I can offer in that regard.
As to \"him getting away with it\" -- rest assured, he can run and he can hide, but by doing so, when the consequences finally reach him, he\'s gonna be in a world of shit. Keep the focus OFF HIM and ON YOURSELF. I know how hard it is to keep doing the right thing, but by taking a different tact, you would only be sinking to HIS LEVEL and you sure don\'t want to go there. Hugs to you this morning, my good friend!
To start with,he isn\'t a man, just another typical male.
A man will live up to his obligations, he realizes it takes two to make children, so therefore two should raise them.
On the other hand, the typical male is selfish,self centered,self serving.
He takes the attitude,( Hurray for me and to hell with you ).
Sweetie he can only do to you, what you allow him to. Take him back to court, he is obligated both morally and by law to do the right thing, by you and your children.
Don\'t let him get away with being a low-life.
I completely agree with CowgirlKathi, don\'t allow the A@#----H@#&E
to bring you down to his level.
Lynn
P.S. if you would like I\'ll share my own personal story with you.
The hell I went through to do the right thing by my kids.
Thanks everyone, Kathi is absolutely right my stbx has his own business. Well we had a business that I helped build over the past 9 years with my blood sweat and tears. Not to mention the absent husband and father the kids had while he was working 80 hours a week. All in the name of building a business so we would be secure for our future. However because of this he is self employed and not so easy to get wages pulled for my support. Got a text from him today which I did not respond to simply telling me that I would have to reorganize all my bills because he was not paying me on the first. See all his stuff is due on the first so I will have to wait for my money until the 15th of the month.
His suggestion for me was to hold on to my paychecks so I had enough to pay rent on the first. Then use his money on the 15th to pay all my other bills. Now I guess from the 1st until the 15th I don\'t need food, or gas in my car, or electricity, or water, or car insurance so it\'s easier for him. This is a great plan for him yes that way he is all good with his bills and rent while i\'m stuck with almost $300.00 extra a month to pay because everything is late. Now the Judge told him it was due by the 1st but he says i\'m not paying you on the 1st so save yourself alot off stress every month and just plan on having my money on the 15th.
This is what I was talking about last night in my journal if the Courts say the 1st why does he get to pay on the 15th????? i KNOW I WILL HAVE TO DO WHAT I NEED TO DO TO SURVIVE BUT I SHOULDN\'T HAVE TO. And that\'s what PISSES ME OFF!!!!!! I will have to deal with all my bills and pay all the late fees and maybe even have stuff turned off just because this is what HE FEELS IS BEST. Always easy breezy for him no consequences no worries for him it always works out great for him and i\'m the one screwed. Will this ever change??????? Will I spend the rest of my life in his shadow never really escaping him he is still calling the shots. He still holds all the cards and control. All I can do is just take of me the best I can and do what I need to do to survive. And hope one day the world comes crashing down on his BIG BIG STUPID HEAD!!!!!!!!!