WHY DID IT HAVE TO HAPPEN

WELL MY BEST FRIEND/ADOPTED SISTER CALLED ME YESTERDAY TO LET ME KNOW THAT HER FATHER (MY ADOPTED FATHER) KILLED HIMSELF YESTERDAY, AND NOBODY HAD THE FUCKING BALLS TO CALL ME LAST WEEK TO LET ME KNOW THAT MY ADOPTED BROTHER KILLED HIMSELF LAST WEEK.............. I AM IN SOME SERIOUS PAIN RIGHT NOW IT'S PATHETIC, I WANT TO KILL MYSELF AND BE WITH THEM AGAIN BUT I AM BETTER THAN THAT........... I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS.................. I GOT ALL OF THIS INFORMATION YESTERDAY MORNING............. THAT IS ONE HELL OF A WAKE UP CALL.................... YOUR ADOPTED FATHER KILLED HIMSELF YESTERDAY AND YOUR ADOPTED BROTHER KILLED HIMSELF LAST WEEK................... DUMB BITCH THANKS FOR CALLING ME YESTERDAY TO LET ME KNOW THAT I HAD A FUNERAL TO GO TO LAT WEEK.................. HE WAS THE CLOSEST THING TO A FATHER THAT I HAD.................... HE WAS MORE OF A FATHER TO ME THEN MY OWN FATHER................... NOW ALL THAT IS GOING THRU MY HEAD IS TO KILL MYSELF.................. IT IS 5:11AM MY TIME AND I AM WIDE AWAKE BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT ALL I HAVE BEEN DOING IS BALLING MY EYES OUT ALL DAMN DAY YESTERDAY............. I'M BALLING MY EYES OUT RIGHT NOW TRYING TO TYPE THIS JOURNAL ENTRY................ OMG WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN???????????????? WHY ME???????????????????? WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING????????????????? CAN I PLEASE JOIN THEM?????????????????? ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS ARE RUNNING THRU MY HEAD RIGHT NOW RIGHT ALONG WITH THE THOUGHT OF KILLING MYSELF....................