WHY DID I TELL MY CHURCH!

Ugh, I told my church I was gay and now I hate myself becuase next week there is this family dinner that my mom and I are gong to and I believe that they are going to tell my mom and I'm so scared. Please someone help me! A lot of the people that go to my church group are very supportive of it. When I told the church leaders I felt very very very deep hatred around them. Why do good things happen then the next minute bad things happen! Please someone help! please