Why did I have an affair?

 With me the reasons I had the affair start with me losing a lot of weight a few years ago. Feeling sexy and having men flirt with me was new to me. One man pursued me relentlessly and I already had a crush on him. He would sext me and give me rushes of adrenaline and libido that I quickly became "addicted" to. I had one brief physical encounter with him that included some oral. Then he was gone. Moved far away. I lost contact with him but it left me desparate for the way he made me feel. i believe I developed a sexual addiction at that time. I became obsessed with recapturing how he made me feel. I mostly fed that need on line until the next man came along. A different situation. He was sweet and kind. we worked out together and became very close and then started spending time together outside the gym plus calling and texting. He became my companion. It was an emotional affair which became sexual quite suddenly and that went on for 6 weeks before DDay. After D-Day I felt like I was slowly "waking up" and coming back to myself after being in that sexual frenzy for 8 mos. That was only 2 weeks ago so still early in the process of healing and recovery. Counselor says we are doing remarkably well. So much pain and regret though for me and H and OM. Doing something like this is NOT LIKE ME AT ALL.