Why can't I be happy?

Nothing is going right at all. Things are just going down hill for me. I hate being me! I am ugly and useless, I have no friends what so ever. And I am pushing my husband away. We had a HUGE fight today, and he called me a piece of shit that doesn't do it anything. Later tonight my mother also called me a piece of shit. I really don't know how much I can take any more. I want to move out of my mom's place so very badly. I want things to work out for me and Josh. I never want to lose him. He is my world, I truly do love him!!! I need help, I am completely broken. What I am going to do? I just want to crawl into a hole and cry. I have been thinking about killing myself. Maybe that will fix everything. I feel no one wants me around, or truly cares for me. I'm too useless and ugly! ARG. Therapy is most likely not going to fix me. I'm so lost in my life. Right now I'm currently on Xanex, Restroil, Whiskey, and weed. ARGG, and they are not helping! I wish I had some Jager, or more weed and Xanex!