Why not?

So, I'm at Chris's again. I know its a bad idea and stuff but why not? If it makes me feel better, at least for a little while what's the harm? Other wise I'd be sitting at home like I was earlier being depressed. I'm single and lonely so why not spend time with other people. All he does is play games and I don't really get anything from it except that he's here. But if it makes me feel better who cares? I have a feeling that I will be a lone for a very long time so I need to find ways to make me feel better about it. So if this is a way to do it I don't think its horrible. I mean yeah I'd rather be spending it with someone who actually wants to spend time with me and not get annoyed at everything I say and do but I just can't find anyone like that so for now I'm going to come over here whenever I feel like it so I don't have to be lonely anymore. Its not like it matter's. Its not like it changes anything. It just makes me feel better at that moment in time and really, whats the harm? Yeah I guess you could say he makes me feel bad about myself, makes me feel like everyone thinks I'm annoying but I really haven't seen any proof that that's not true. So if everyone thinks I'm annoying and doesn't want to spend any time with me then I might as well do something that at least makes me feel not entirely depressed. So I will just do this until someday, maybe someone will want to be with me. I doubt it but hopefully because Chris is addicted to video games he wont find anyone either and I can continue to do this. I don't know how long it will last but he said if we're both still single at 40 we can get married so I guess I just have to hold on till then. At least I hope he still wants to do that... Anyway I am going to be alone forever. No one will ever love me. So if it makes me feel better whatever it is I'm going to do it.