why

ok so here goes i am a disaster mentally emotionally and phycically. WHY did he rape my children why did i quit fighting for them. in the past 5 years i have been a mother of 4 children who were raped and molested by my ex spouse i have been raped beaten tortured a drug attic had achild from rape became homeless lost 2 sisters 3 boyfriends my aunt myself and all due to this monster. i am so lost and feel like theres no way out i have no one and lost it all because of his actions and my stupid reactions. the only reason i dont kill myself is  because one day they will come looking for me.