Who,where, why, mr who? What the f##

What the hell am i doing. with no regard to who reads what i write. Please don't get offend. Just talking to myself, because i need to get it out. What is going on. I was so secure. Now not so sure. it happens like that sometimes, and there is no rhyme. Just to tears that fall and the everlasting answers in the sky that i will probably never understand. I make my way one day and then it comes crashing down.  the sky doesn't sing and the grave hold no understanding about where i stand. I can make it like this. I'm going to have to find something else to do. Stand, cry, move , peace, war what the hell does one do in the life given and the time under sun who know s what will profit or come back to bite him and the hand that feeds is hard to understand and so it goes.courage comes and goes.  A fear of immortal hell lingers not so much in my mind, but did i stand and not regret it. It is all water it pours not always to my pointing. and i can't make sense of it. ENOUGH! wipe your  face , get back up , steady your weak knees. and make it. If all you do is lose youD better find a way to win. My friends died.... ;suicide, couldn't take the blows of life, but i am seeing the light at the end of that tunnel if they had kept steady, I will make my way across fields of misunderstandings, across mountain of scorn and hate and the one who is behind all of it. It will be okay someday if i can just hold on to what i've got. That is the rule hold on to what you've got. and my piece try not to lose it.