Who was I trying to fool

So I tried to be more like myself these last couple of days but I didn't gain anything from it except being more sore and in more pain and having spent less time on the things that make me happy or helping my son get through his phase.
I tried to be pleasant in front of adversity during work and it still get's me no respect. Today I caught the boss talking about me behind my back, and when I confronted him he played all stupid and wanted to go through all that happened and yet still didn't apologize.

I try to use humor to let people know I am okay on the outside and no one texts, writes on FB or DS. 
I know I am lonely, I know I have dreams but both are unattainable. 

Tomorrow starts a whole new day of being sad. First thing in the am is put on my smile.