Who thought we would be here
I w/have never thought when we first met & got married I w/be here like this.
I still can not believe you are truly dead. It still blows my mind you had such a massive heart attack. BUT I knew you were slowing down I wished I had pushed it but you just don't think it would happen to you. I hope you are happy where you are, & I wished I could feel you.
I had a dream last night, you were staying away from me like you were mad, I tried to argue w/you about something & go to you but I do not remember what. And you kept go away from me, I remember you kept getting farther away I remember I finally said fine, just go away I need to get something done. It was over. But I was upset w/you I wish I knew what.
Stayed home today instead of going into town, it snowed all day yesterday, last nite & most of today. 19" total when a few days ago there was NONE, the corrals were drying & the horses were loving it. Now its miserable again, I am sick of winter. I think it made me cry today - I just did not want to be alone in this or anything else for that matter. Its not the way its supposed to be, why did you leave me like this? I feel until this ugly weather goes away I am kept back from going forward.
I so miss you, seeing you, talking w/you, telling you things, wish you could just come to me once and tell me you did not suffer & how you felt going.
And tell me what or where to go. Today for some reason was a crying day.
I still can not believe you are truly dead. It still blows my mind you had such a massive heart attack. BUT I knew you were slowing down I wished I had pushed it but you just don't think it would happen to you. I hope you are happy where you are, & I wished I could feel you.
I had a dream last night, you were staying away from me like you were mad, I tried to argue w/you about something & go to you but I do not remember what. And you kept go away from me, I remember you kept getting farther away I remember I finally said fine, just go away I need to get something done. It was over. But I was upset w/you I wish I knew what.
Stayed home today instead of going into town, it snowed all day yesterday, last nite & most of today. 19" total when a few days ago there was NONE, the corrals were drying & the horses were loving it. Now its miserable again, I am sick of winter. I think it made me cry today - I just did not want to be alone in this or anything else for that matter. Its not the way its supposed to be, why did you leave me like this? I feel until this ugly weather goes away I am kept back from going forward.
I so miss you, seeing you, talking w/you, telling you things, wish you could just come to me once and tell me you did not suffer & how you felt going.
And tell me what or where to go. Today for some reason was a crying day.
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