Who knows

I really have no clue how to pick good people to add to my life. No clue what-so-ever.
Why am I mad, being unemployed and unrecognized as one of the best in what I do is hard. I'm not the smartest nor fastest nor best educated but I am good.
So this collegue has a business on the side. He started it when he lost his job, when he found a job he wanted me to come on board to keep it going. He is just a salesman. I went into downtown, paid a taxi, had a one hour meet and greet. He said I was going in to help with a phone conference and met the manager and see my desk and crap like that. Nothing like that it was they just wanted to see me to talk with me. Freaken waste of time. I dont know why I still have faith in this man? Can all people suck? I doubt it but with my growing up and my isolation my resources are limited.
I really want to believe people are good, that they are nice, but I think they are only out for themselves. I know its not true, but the only decent people in my life are my husband and my therapist.
The funnest thing I mean, what goes around comes around idea. The competitor to the place I talked with today where they only wanted me as a 1099er, want to talk with to see if I will fit the culture for a "real" job.
Its days like these I see my mothers handprint on the day. My childhood rearing its ugly head. I have the need to be liked to be the best to have outside affermation (sp) that I am good.
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Sorry you are having a difficult time finding fufilling employment that fit your own needs. Good luck!
LadyCricket
LadyCricket

Thanks alot - sometimes I feel I am in a great forest yelling at the top of my voice and no one hears.