Who knows

Saturday, went great. Went to spend the afternoon and some evening with the man I love. Things in life is crazy. I could say that he has a hard schedule to get everything done. All, I can do is sit here and wish that one day that things will go back to the same. We talk every morning, have lunch during the week. Hard to sit here and deal with that doesn't happen to often anymore.
Times I wish I can turn tables back again. Going through this pain is hurting the most. I'm just hoping at the is point that we are still able to do our get away weekend. We have been talking about it for a while and finally were able to make it happen. I had made arrangements with my younger ones to stay with their dad and my older ones can stay home alone.
I love him with all my heart. Miss him so much that it hurts me. When I'm alone I cry.