Who I Am

It is easier to tell you who I am not.  I am not the man I was when I got married, I am not the man I was when I first found this DS site. But I think it more helpful to tell who I am, rather than who I  am not. I am a Christian man. I believe in God, well belief is not the right word, I know God, I see Him, I recognize his work all around me, so for me, God is a fact of life.  My belief is in scripture. I believe that the Word handed down was inspired by Him, and I believe it is law. I do not 'push' my religon on others, but I will share with anyone who asks.  I pray, daily and often, as these moments are clarity for me, and let me feel close to Him. I will use any and all reasons to take a moment for prayer.  I like to share the prayers that I find, or write, that are relevant and helpful to me.  I send these out often on this site, but not in public, just in messages to my friends. I do not wish to offend. I have friends on this site who do not wish to see these and I respect their wishes.    I am a father.  I am a good dad, I strive to be a great dad, and put my children above all else, except God.  I try to be inspirational to my kids, I love seeing them emulate me, even the silly things we do.  I love seeing the light of recognition turn on in their faces when the comprehend a lesson, they are such a blessing.  And I learn from my children.  I am pretty techno savvy, yet my 13 YO daughter has to teach me how to record and upload my music to You Tube, which will be happening soon, I am happy to say.   I thought I was a good husband, I mean I tried to be.  But I married poorly, I tried to be something I am not, and this exploded in unhappiness and stress.  I tried to be the man she wanted. But I am only who I am, I can not deny myself of my own identity, and have learned the pain that this deception can cost. I am a musician.  I play guitars, bass, keyboards. I am trying to play alto sax. I am going through a writing phase, getting much accomplished, but need more time for my music. This creative outlet is core to my essense.  I am a helper.  I have heart disease, had a major operation to correct, and now I reach out to help others facing similar events.  I feel the need to be there for others, and I know I have helped some people through this tough time.  I am getting more involved with the local hospitals to try and reach more people, I haven't done enough.  I am also trying to get a larger volunteer organization going in Jacksonville, there are so many of us with much to offer.   I am a business person. I work. In the past I have worked hard, accomplished much, helped save companies and saved jobs, but this is not what I strive for any longer. Now I almost resent having to work, as I have so much more I would rather do with my time that make money for corporations.  But alas, I need to support my family still, and myself.