Who even cares anymore
I am so depressed. I don't know why I just am . Everything is stressing me out and I feel overwhelmed. I have so much that I need to be doing I just don't have the energy or the will power to do it. I just wanna crawl back into my bed and pull the blanket over my head and never get back up. The problem is that my bed is covered in everything that was in my closet and my sheets and blanket are in my hallway to be washed. I need help but every time one of the kids offer I just end up biting their heads off. I know I need help but at the same time I just want to be left alone. I don't know how much more I can take. I am getting so tired of living with this constantly growing list of mental illnesses. I just want it to all be over with.
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This is a really tough place to be in and very hard to get out of.
What helped me was something really simple, I started taking 4000 iu of vitamin D and within three weeks, I started to feel a change for the better. I was really amazed. Before that I also had to break routines I was in that I knew were not healthy. i found I had to stop listening to all the music I normally listen to when I was depressed and listen to more upbeat stuff. Just going outside was a challenge and had to force myself to go out and just walk around the yard. I put up lots of bird feeders since I had to fill them and that gave me a reason to get out of the house.
I went through intense therapy to deal with my past and that really took a big load of me. I know you\'re on disability, but I\'ve heard it said that most states cover the cost of counselling for abuse victims or at a very greatly reduced cost. I believe you have to phone your states district attorney\'s office to find out more. It saved me, it could save you also.
I lost my farm a few years back partially due to falling into a deep depression for over two years. I have severe chronic pain, I\'m bipolar, and have PTSD and I only take meds for pain the rest I keep controlled by deep breathing/centering/grounding techniques and other useful stuff I learned in counselling. Plus I love helping people and that really get my mind off of myself.
It\'s a lot of hard work, but you can change what you don\'t like in your life or at least become at peace with them. Just make little tiny changes since trying to tackle everything at once just overwhelms us and we get no where. Basically baby steps, start small and work your way up. I could be something as simple as sitting in another part of the house for a few minutes, just to break out of the old routine and get use to something different.
Hope this all helps and here for you, Blaine