Who cares about compost?
My life is like a spiral, going through the same sick situations over and over again. No matter how much I do, care or give, I am stuck in this "same old, same old" routine.
Our car broke down, major costly repairs needed to fix it. Colleen's disability grant must be fully reviewed again before the end of May, or she will lose her grant. And I need her grant to buy her nappies each month. I need to have a hystorectomy done, but don't have the money to pay the levy for the operation. I desperately need someone to talk to, but apart from my 2 older children, I have no-one.
My life is like compost. I can mean something to others, help them grow and give support and care. But I will always be just compost, my whole life always filled with shit!!
Our car broke down, major costly repairs needed to fix it. Colleen's disability grant must be fully reviewed again before the end of May, or she will lose her grant. And I need her grant to buy her nappies each month. I need to have a hystorectomy done, but don't have the money to pay the levy for the operation. I desperately need someone to talk to, but apart from my 2 older children, I have no-one.
My life is like compost. I can mean something to others, help them grow and give support and care. But I will always be just compost, my whole life always filled with shit!!
Replies
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. I don\'t think that you have any idea just how many people you do help. You are made in the image of almighty God and he does not make trash or junk.
Just hoping that something will come to mind that gives you a good feeling... much of our lives is hard... I can\'t say its not so... but I do have some blessings although sometimes the clouds block my view...
By the way.... one of the most beautiful rose bushes I ever raised... was on top of our cess pool... It was so pretty that when we moved my neighbors were arguing and lying to each other trying to lay claim to the rose bush... I had not planned to move it at all... It had taken root and was doing so well... but when I heard that Caroline was telling Mary Bourg that I had said she could have it and vice versa I decided if anyone would transplant it I would... but I shouldn\'t have... It died and I was truly regretful... If it had to die I would rather one of those lying witches had killed it... . Just want you to know compost/poop are mighty good things... LOL
My sweet friend.......you are worthy and beautiful ! Never think badly of yourself. You have done so much caring in your life and you should never feel less than who you are. I am inspired on how you care for Colleen......you amaze me !!!
I\'m so sorry you are feeling so bad. I will keep both you and Colleen in my prayers tonight.
Big warm hugs, Patricia :-)
I am sorry you are going through so much. I feel like my life has no meaning or value. I have no husband, no children, no family, and hate the way I feel every day. I know the spiral and hate it too. I am here for you if you would like to talk. Just message me anytime. I am lonely and cannot talk to people because they do not want to know and have their own lives.
Thinking of you.
Hugs
Kathryn