Who Am I Now?

Max's death was a year and a half ago.  I "found" FMO two weeks ago and the "community" here is unbelievable.  I realize that I will never be the same as I was before Max's death.  My question is "How do I find out who I am now?"  After 35 years of full time work, I've just retired and now have the time for this exploration.  I just have no idea of where to begin.  I know who I no longer am.  How can I find out who I am?  And what my purpose is now?