Whew........Here I Go

Wow, where do I begin here.
Lets do the feral/stray cat trapping(if I can make it thru with no more tears).  2 Wks ago on the next block in the back lane we noticed mommy cats and kittens around.  The kittens were maybe between 6 to 8 wks old.  Well good old me, we stopped the car & I watched & all I could say was Oh My God No.  How would they survive our brutal winters and how would they eat & on & on & on.  I phoned our local Humane Society who were no help at all & said to phone the City Pound which I then did.  We rented a cage trap & proceeded to set our mission in motion.  I shd say that I could feel deep in my heart & soul that it's a mission the Lord asked me to do & to have faith & stay strong.  Little did I realize just how grueling this mission would be & how often I just wanted to sit & cry & whine I couldn't take it any longer.
As we were new to this we did a lot of experimenting & such with setting the traps & dozens of times during the day & during wet, cold, windy weather, going to check the traps, put fresh food & whatever else.  It went slow at 1st & some days there was nothing & then all of a sudden luck would change & on it went up & down.
In our city the Pound has an agreement with the Humane Society in that if cats are caught by using a city Pound trap the Humane Society cannot turn the animal away.
We 1st rounded up 5 kittens & a mommy.  Mommy ended up a real lovey sweetheart & my work partner at the cat shelter took her home(wow was I happy).  Then we caught another female.  Then we caught the male who most likely was the cause of all of this & I know because of the shape he was in he would be put down but it's still better then frozen ears, frozen feet & starving to death.  We had trouble with the last mommy & 3 kittens but without babbling on we did get them.  We set them up very comfortably in the garage till we knew we had them all - but - in the mean time mommy decided she thought we were really great & proceeded to bond with us.  She was a little silver tabby with an extra toe on each front foot & one ear that was a little odd shaped with small round button gold eyes.  Because of her whole demeanor I called her Precious.  Here's where it gets really hard on me, tears here we come.  We took them down to the Humane Society & they take them into a side room to transfer them to a temp holding cage type of thing.  She was no problem to handle at all & I was watching thru the window on the door.  They put her & her kittens together & get this - you would think her attn would be on everything going on, the kittens being put in with her but NO all she did was cran her head way out to stare at me thru the window (gotta get some kleenex, sniffle!!!).  Her eyes were either saying thank you so much for saving me & all you did or they were saying, but, but, I thought I was staying with you guys.  Hubby & I were both just a basket case.  I know-how crazy maybe, right.  We almost did go back & get her but common sense had to prevail as we don't know maybe where our future will head, will we be able to stay in the house, etc. etc. & our three right now are plenty to handle as far as care & attention & vets & feeding, etc. etc. but it will be quite a while before I can get Precious out of my mind I'm afraid, sniffle, sniffle, tears.  I've had three bad nights now & the other night when I woke up once I could of sworn I heard her meow.  She had a very distinct little meow.  I know it wasn't my three cause they are kept in the kitchen and sunroom at night.  But at least I feel that the Lord is satisfied with the mission we did & that does make all the grief worthwhile.
Now, hubby.  Talk abt relief when we were told the bone scan was negative & the biopsy was also.  However his PSA is now 14.  It's wondered if he is experiencing PSA bounce which does happen sometimes for a few yrs post treatment.  They also wondered abt inflammation and/or some kind of prostatitis infection.  So he's on antibiotics for 10 days then the PSA will be checked in a few wks to see.  But to cover all bases the dr wants to order a CT scan to ensure no "c" word anywhere else causing this.
Does it make sense if I say we're overjoyed yet it's like you look way on the horizon & you can still see some dark clouds waiting.  We're always going to try to turn away from that, focus on life every day & Satan can take a hike with his negative plans & stuff.  To thank the Lord for his love during this time we're going to go out & buy 3 dozen loaves of bread & a whole mountain of cold cuts & take them to our cities biggest mission to help feed the less fortunate.  He put up with a lot from me & he gifted us so greatly that I want to pay it forward.
As for me, all I can say is I've no idea whatsoever how I feel in any way on any level.  I really need to focus on regrouping mentally & physically & just getting it together again I think.
OK, I've babbled enough here so I'll sign off.  I so love you all for taking the time to read this, I really do.