Where was he?
Today a coworker who has been with my company for about 10 years approached me and gave his condolences for the passing of my son. Jeff passed April 21, 2007. He only just heard. ON FACEBOOK! WTH is it about me and facebook, huh? This gentleman lost his son about 1 year before I lost mine and I remember thinking how cruel it was of him to ignore my loss when he KNEW the pain I was feeling. What is wrong with people? Was the passing of my son such an insignificant issue in the days of the people that I work with that nobody even said to someone else "Hey, did you hear Colleen lost her son?" I just want to scream Wake up folks, someone near you might have a heartache that might feel a little better if you just HUG them. You don't even need to talk to them. Most of us can't think of anything appropriate to say anyway. Just a hug. I bought the book online this morning! I said I would and I did. Any book named STOP KISSING MY ASHES I must read!!! Gosh I'm hoping for some humor in that book. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could laugh a little?
Replies
I had a similar experience. Someone I know lost her son in a car accident some years ago. She has never said a word to me about Mark\'s passing. I think she is just totally just self involved. I have had other people ask me whether this woman ever called me(she knows Mark died). It is not that anything that she would say would make the situation any better its just that she is a complete selfish jerk. Sandi
I don\'t get it either. I have a \"friend\" that I worked with for 20 years. Our kids grew up together and were close when they were younger. To this day, she has never contacted me and said anything about Chris. I get emails once in awhile from her about other things...but not one word about my son. We both still work for the same company....I just work from home....I know she has to know about it. It has bothered me a lot. Let us know how the book is. Yes it would be great to be able to laugh a little !! Hugs, Kim
I don\'t understand either. Even friends I\'d had for years later told me they didn\'t know. Can you believe it. There is a saying about treating everyone with kindness as everyone carries a burden of some kind. Love and hugs cathy
It is better late than never. He could have thought to himself it was too late and not said anything. Too many people don\'t want to acknowledge the grief of another. It makes them feel vulnarable. If it happened to you, it could happen to them. Anytime you need a hug you can come here to the people who know how you feel. hugs j
I\'m sure the way word spreads through the workplace that someone thought he probably already knew. I\'ve had similar experiences with even my neighbors. Not close neighbors but people you see at the store every now and again. I think...didn\'t anyone read the paper. Oh well. I don\'t get to read as often as I would like so tell me how the goes and if it\'s a MUST read. Love you friend. Robin
I have had people come up to me & ask about the kids - mothers of grade school friends - not realizing Billy died - don\'t know who feels worse when I tell them. But that is all part of life - just put on the mask & try not to smack a few folks up side the head. Hugs, Ann
I continue to be amazed by people....
I KNOW. I UNDERSTAND. AND I CARE....
I guess sometimes people just don\'t know how to deal with it. I was just telling my co-worker the other day about how when I don\'t get enough sleep that I am more emotional about Michael. Just as I said his name, she shook her head \"no\" as if not to say his name. Do these people think I forget about him as long as I don\'t mention his name? I have no expectations of the \"others\" and they include my own family. Love and hugs to you, B
I have a co-worker who has not said anything to me. I see her multiple times a week. She is a very self centered women and life revolves only around her. I could get mad, but I think how sad that she is unable to show empathy, to really care about others. I agree with what Ann said, I ran into someone who did not know what happened and I think he felt awful when I told him, not only for our loss but because he would of wanted to of been there to give support, I think our lives touch so many and sometimes the information does not get to everyone. People do not read newspapers or listen to the news. How awful and horrific this is for us all, how it occupies our every thought, it is our life.. and if it does not impact people directly their lives go on they may think of us , pray for us and feel for us but it is human nature their lives go on.... untouched. Hugs to us all in our moments of pain and in the periods of light. xoxox Wendy
I think that we are so sensitive after losing our children. We are constantly disappointed in people. We are NOW aware of what should be said and done...but did we know before we lost them? People are just people...with all the weaknesses...the arrogance the insensitivity...we cannot fix these people...we can only reach out now to those who need it...and let those people find their way. Love to you...Karen