where to start

guess ill start with venting..i bottle things up than I explode and boy do I explode...
 
its so hard to know that this THING raped my daughter at knife point and let others watch it via video...its my daughter...the love of my life..ya know its funny..i always feel so bad for those going thru this and than go on with my life thanking GOD its wasn't mine and here I now am writing my feelings cause its my baby whos living thru it
 
in our house im the vocal one..im the one that loses it so quickly..im the violent one(meaning i want revenge)...I know her dad does as well but he doesn't talk about it much or her brother...they close off...I find that hard at times but its their way I guess...
 
I think of her at school refusing to let this define her..im very rpoud of her inner strength with that...she surprised me...as shes such a gentle soul...
 
we wonder sometimes if shell be happy...find a lovely man...laugh like she use to...gosh im crying while i type just thniking what this bloody animal took away from her...
 
but I wont give up helping her...he wont ruin her life...GOD put her here to make a difference and I know she will...
 
well thats all for now..boy that felt good
 
im going to write often to get so much off my chest
 
paulinerose xo