Where to begin

It is a while since I wrote my Journal & I really don't know where to begin.
I had a meeting at work yesterday as a follow up to one three months ago about my sick leave. I was expecting to be asked to go back to starting at 130pm instead of 230pm. I was asked if it had made a difference & said it had helped me a lot.I work in a retirement village in the independent living area as an RN.
It was then asked if my working all pm shifts instead of alternating am & pm had impacted the other Rn. I have been doing the pm for over a year & thought all was ok but was told the other RN did'nt like being locked in to am shifts. I was so upset. Lynn is a friend & she has never said anything to me. In fact she told me she liked doing am shift. I was asked if I could do some am shifts& felt angry I was being asked to do this when I had just been asked if coming on an hour later was helping me. We work the weekends & it is hard to get relief I know. The thing is since I changed my hours I have only been sick 2 days & one of those was because I caught gastro from a resident.
I really feel betrayed. Then I find out that the manager had asked Lynn how it impacted her & was asked to say what she really felt. Lynn rang me as I was finishing my Tuesday shift as she felt things were going to be misinterpreted.
I left the meeting trying not to cry & had to go straight to work which was hard.
Two people tried to talk to me & I had to ask them to leave me alone. Then someone died & I had to deal with the body & family so that was hard. Another RN came in to help as we are by ourselves in the pm. I did'nt finish my first round until after security came at 7pm. Then it was time to start again.
Another terrible thing happened on Monday. A resident driving her car hit & killed another resident in her garage. How awful is that? It sort of makes my problems seem like nothing. Anway, I did'nt have time to worry about my hours. The evening was too busy. Then when I got home late after 10pm. I really let go & my poor husband got the brunt of my anger.He asked how the meeting went but kept looking at the TV.I hate that.
So then I was in the spare room as I don't sleep well & get restless & spent the time I was awake crying.
Then there is Lois. Her sister died after being ill with dementia & Lois is a difficult to cope with sometimes. I have managed to back off a lot since having SS. I was always taking her to appointments & started to get resentful. There are so many issues with her & her sister & the sister's friend I find it hard to listen to it all again. The funeral is on Friday so I will be going.
Reading back on this I sound so selfish but that is how I feel at the moment.
At least the sun is shining at the moment & I can see the cocatoos in the trees. Have to finish on a positive.
Another positive. The cleaner is here for three hours which I only started this year as I was so tired. So that is a great help. She mops under my feet as I write. 



I\'m so sorry you had such a bad day. Remember God only gives us what we can handle and he knows you are a special person to do the work you do and still have the SS. I\'ll keep you in my prayers and tomorrow will be a better day.

I\'m sorry to hear of your work woes and the horrific accident involving the residents. How sad.
I hope that you can resolve your work hour issues quickly. Perhaps your friend felt like they were cornering her?
I have felt resentful at times that I am the one that will take my Nanna to Dr. apts. and such. I feel like the rest of the family has written her off. She is as sharp as a tac though and she is hurt that they don\'t even take some time to call her. She\'s been there for me though and I feel like I need to be there for her.
My nanna has been in skilled care facilities. She has had some of the kindest, most gentle nurses sometimes. It makes all the difference in the world. The work you do makes all the difference. Your patients are lucky!
How cool to look out your window and see cocatoos! How pretty!
Hope you\'re having a better day and feeling well after the stress!

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I rang my friend & she had had a sleepless night too. She did feel she was being cornered into saying thingsas some other stuff was mentioned.
She is happy to continue as we are now but we will see what our manager wants us to do.
I really love my work. I would prefer to do some am shifts but I find mornings difficult. I have been aching but am trying not to get too stressed.
I am so glad to have found this site, it is so good to be able to vent!