Where to begin
It is a while since I wrote my Journal & I really don't know where to begin.
I had a meeting at work yesterday as a follow up to one three months ago about my sick leave. I was expecting to be asked to go back to starting at 130pm instead of 230pm. I was asked if it had made a difference & said it had helped me a lot.I work in a retirement village in the independent living area as an RN.
It was then asked if my working all pm shifts instead of alternating am & pm had impacted the other Rn. I have been doing the pm for over a year & thought all was ok but was told the other RN did'nt like being locked in to am shifts. I was so upset. Lynn is a friend & she has never said anything to me. In fact she told me she liked doing am shift. I was asked if I could do some am shifts& felt angry I was being asked to do this when I had just been asked if coming on an hour later was helping me. We work the weekends & it is hard to get relief I know. The thing is since I changed my hours I have only been sick 2 days & one of those was because I caught gastro from a resident.
I really feel betrayed. Then I find out that the manager had asked Lynn how it impacted her & was asked to say what she really felt. Lynn rang me as I was finishing my Tuesday shift as she felt things were going to be misinterpreted.
I left the meeting trying not to cry & had to go straight to work which was hard.
Two people tried to talk to me & I had to ask them to leave me alone. Then someone died & I had to deal with the body & family so that was hard. Another RN came in to help as we are by ourselves in the pm. I did'nt finish my first round until after security came at 7pm. Then it was time to start again.
Another terrible thing happened on Monday. A resident driving her car hit & killed another resident in her garage. How awful is that? It sort of makes my problems seem like nothing. Anway, I did'nt have time to worry about my hours. The evening was too busy. Then when I got home late after 10pm. I really let go & my poor husband got the brunt of my anger.He asked how the meeting went but kept looking at the TV.I hate that.
So then I was in the spare room as I don't sleep well & get restless & spent the time I was awake crying.
Then there is Lois. Her sister died after being ill with dementia & Lois is a difficult to cope with sometimes. I have managed to back off a lot since having SS. I was always taking her to appointments & started to get resentful. There are so many issues with her & her sister & the sister's friend I find it hard to listen to it all again. The funeral is on Friday so I will be going.
Reading back on this I sound so selfish but that is how I feel at the moment.
At least the sun is shining at the moment & I can see the cocatoos in the trees. Have to finish on a positive.
Another positive. The cleaner is here for three hours which I only started this year as I was so tired. So that is a great help. She mops under my feet as I write.
I had a meeting at work yesterday as a follow up to one three months ago about my sick leave. I was expecting to be asked to go back to starting at 130pm instead of 230pm. I was asked if it had made a difference & said it had helped me a lot.I work in a retirement village in the independent living area as an RN.
It was then asked if my working all pm shifts instead of alternating am & pm had impacted the other Rn. I have been doing the pm for over a year & thought all was ok but was told the other RN did'nt like being locked in to am shifts. I was so upset. Lynn is a friend & she has never said anything to me. In fact she told me she liked doing am shift. I was asked if I could do some am shifts& felt angry I was being asked to do this when I had just been asked if coming on an hour later was helping me. We work the weekends & it is hard to get relief I know. The thing is since I changed my hours I have only been sick 2 days & one of those was because I caught gastro from a resident.
I really feel betrayed. Then I find out that the manager had asked Lynn how it impacted her & was asked to say what she really felt. Lynn rang me as I was finishing my Tuesday shift as she felt things were going to be misinterpreted.
I left the meeting trying not to cry & had to go straight to work which was hard.
Two people tried to talk to me & I had to ask them to leave me alone. Then someone died & I had to deal with the body & family so that was hard. Another RN came in to help as we are by ourselves in the pm. I did'nt finish my first round until after security came at 7pm. Then it was time to start again.
Another terrible thing happened on Monday. A resident driving her car hit & killed another resident in her garage. How awful is that? It sort of makes my problems seem like nothing. Anway, I did'nt have time to worry about my hours. The evening was too busy. Then when I got home late after 10pm. I really let go & my poor husband got the brunt of my anger.He asked how the meeting went but kept looking at the TV.I hate that.
So then I was in the spare room as I don't sleep well & get restless & spent the time I was awake crying.
Then there is Lois. Her sister died after being ill with dementia & Lois is a difficult to cope with sometimes. I have managed to back off a lot since having SS. I was always taking her to appointments & started to get resentful. There are so many issues with her & her sister & the sister's friend I find it hard to listen to it all again. The funeral is on Friday so I will be going.
Reading back on this I sound so selfish but that is how I feel at the moment.
At least the sun is shining at the moment & I can see the cocatoos in the trees. Have to finish on a positive.
Another positive. The cleaner is here for three hours which I only started this year as I was so tired. So that is a great help. She mops under my feet as I write.
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