Where oh where have I been?
Wow, I didn't realize it had been so long since I last updated! I don't feel busy, but looking back over the past 2 weeks, I kinda have been.
School is going well. I'm annoyed with some of the younger ladies in my class, but overall things are good. The homework is tedious, but it only takes roughly one full day of my weekend (which is a 3 day weekend every weekend) that I spread over two days so I don't go cross eyed. I have my first test coming up on Wednesday for my Office Procedures class. I'm pretty sure I'll do well, since the teacher's given us a review that basically contains all of the questions she'll be asking on the test (plus extras). They are making it very hard to fail this course thus far.
Weight loss boot camp is killer, but I've been sticking with it. Unfortunately I seem to be gaining weight instead of losing! I've gone up 4 pounds since starting it. I'm hoping that it's just because I'm converting to muscle and not that I'm doing things wrong (eating/not drinking enough water) and sabotaging myself.
Friday (Oct 4) was my 30th birthday. We went out to dinner with family and friends, though said family made life very stressful before we went. DH's parents were supposed to be there, despite both DH and I wanting to have more time to get over how they treated us on moving day (basically once DH's co-worker, the one I've been having issue with, showed up, she's all that existed and we were all chopped liver), but they couldn't come in the end. My MIL just found out that she has to have her pulmonary valve replaced, which though it's a common surgery, she's still quite stressed over. So they didn't come, neither did DH's grandparents (which I am thankful for, his grandmother doesn't like me at all, and probably never will).
My parents came, though my mother was a bitch about most of it for the week leading up to my birthday. I chose a fairly nice, though somewhat expensive, restaurant for my dinner. Most meals range from $20-$30, which apparently is too expensive for my mother. She even asked if I would consider going to Denny's for dinner instead. Are you fucking serious? Denny's for my 30th? No!
My brother and his gf came as well, they weren't too bad. Though my brother's stomach issues acted up really bad and he wasn't able to eat his meal, which I feel really bad about. I should say, I feel bad that he couldn't eat, and upset that the problem isn't being fixed by the doctors that should be helping him.
My best friend Ryan came to dinner and my friend Monica came as well. It was a nice evening, though my mother tried to sour it the next day by trying to say that Monica (the only one she didn't know at the table) was rude to her by not returning her smile when she smiled at her in greeting. I'm sorry, but no. Monica did nothing wrong, and I told my mother off for trying to make something out of nothing.
And now for the dreaded IF news: I'm waiting for AF. I know I should be hoping there's a possibility for a BFP, but I'm just not feeling it right now. AF could start anytime between Tuesday and Saturday, and I have some of the usual feelings I have just before AF arrives already.
Due to my school schedule, I was only able to do the OPK once a day in the evenings. I got all negatives, so I'm sure I missed my surge. DH and I were good about BDing though, and only missed 2 days total. If I ovulated on CD20, we got the timing perfect, but if I ovulated on CD22, we missed BDing on CD21 and CD22, so not too bad. I don't know why I don't feel it this month, I just don't. We shall see how things go from here.
Oh and an addendum: I have officially conquered my depression! I am still stressed/unhappy with IF but my overall mood each day is good! Even on a rainy/gloomy day like today, I'm feeling pretty upbeat despite being sure AF is just around the corner. I still have my sad days, and feel like I'm going to burst into tears at any moment days, but overall I'm happy again.
Addendum 2: I have been reading everyone's journals, just not commenting. I'm still praying for all of you, and happy for those who have gotten their BFPs recently! Good luck to all!
School is going well. I'm annoyed with some of the younger ladies in my class, but overall things are good. The homework is tedious, but it only takes roughly one full day of my weekend (which is a 3 day weekend every weekend) that I spread over two days so I don't go cross eyed. I have my first test coming up on Wednesday for my Office Procedures class. I'm pretty sure I'll do well, since the teacher's given us a review that basically contains all of the questions she'll be asking on the test (plus extras). They are making it very hard to fail this course thus far.
Weight loss boot camp is killer, but I've been sticking with it. Unfortunately I seem to be gaining weight instead of losing! I've gone up 4 pounds since starting it. I'm hoping that it's just because I'm converting to muscle and not that I'm doing things wrong (eating/not drinking enough water) and sabotaging myself.
Friday (Oct 4) was my 30th birthday. We went out to dinner with family and friends, though said family made life very stressful before we went. DH's parents were supposed to be there, despite both DH and I wanting to have more time to get over how they treated us on moving day (basically once DH's co-worker, the one I've been having issue with, showed up, she's all that existed and we were all chopped liver), but they couldn't come in the end. My MIL just found out that she has to have her pulmonary valve replaced, which though it's a common surgery, she's still quite stressed over. So they didn't come, neither did DH's grandparents (which I am thankful for, his grandmother doesn't like me at all, and probably never will).
My parents came, though my mother was a bitch about most of it for the week leading up to my birthday. I chose a fairly nice, though somewhat expensive, restaurant for my dinner. Most meals range from $20-$30, which apparently is too expensive for my mother. She even asked if I would consider going to Denny's for dinner instead. Are you fucking serious? Denny's for my 30th? No!
My brother and his gf came as well, they weren't too bad. Though my brother's stomach issues acted up really bad and he wasn't able to eat his meal, which I feel really bad about. I should say, I feel bad that he couldn't eat, and upset that the problem isn't being fixed by the doctors that should be helping him.
My best friend Ryan came to dinner and my friend Monica came as well. It was a nice evening, though my mother tried to sour it the next day by trying to say that Monica (the only one she didn't know at the table) was rude to her by not returning her smile when she smiled at her in greeting. I'm sorry, but no. Monica did nothing wrong, and I told my mother off for trying to make something out of nothing.
And now for the dreaded IF news: I'm waiting for AF. I know I should be hoping there's a possibility for a BFP, but I'm just not feeling it right now. AF could start anytime between Tuesday and Saturday, and I have some of the usual feelings I have just before AF arrives already.
Due to my school schedule, I was only able to do the OPK once a day in the evenings. I got all negatives, so I'm sure I missed my surge. DH and I were good about BDing though, and only missed 2 days total. If I ovulated on CD20, we got the timing perfect, but if I ovulated on CD22, we missed BDing on CD21 and CD22, so not too bad. I don't know why I don't feel it this month, I just don't. We shall see how things go from here.
Oh and an addendum: I have officially conquered my depression! I am still stressed/unhappy with IF but my overall mood each day is good! Even on a rainy/gloomy day like today, I'm feeling pretty upbeat despite being sure AF is just around the corner. I still have my sad days, and feel like I'm going to burst into tears at any moment days, but overall I'm happy again.
Addendum 2: I have been reading everyone's journals, just not commenting. I'm still praying for all of you, and happy for those who have gotten their BFPs recently! Good luck to all!
Replies
Happy Birthday!!!! Funny how much drama families can bring
Mine is the same way
There you are!! I was just wondering what you were up to!!
First of all, happy \"twenty tenth\" birthday. Mine is coming next summer and I\'m already dreading it. I, like you, will certainly not be spending it eating fast food. Your mom sounds like a real piece of work. I\'m glad you had an overall nice time anyway.
Second of all, I\'m willing to bet that those four pounds are muscle. How you look (and feel!) is a much better indicator of weight loss than the scale is. Keep it up!
Third, I\'m so happy to hear that your mental health has improved!! I\'m keeping my fingers crossed for your BFP...it seems to me that you\'ve got all the mental and physical preparations in place :)
Thanks ladies! It\'s been a lot of hard work to get to the point I am at now. If I had still felt the way I did over the summer when my birthday dinner came around, my mother\'s shenanigans would have totally ruined it for me!
Literal LOL at Dennys! Sounds like you are having a great run of things. I\'m with you on the weight loss...I\'ve been really good with my calorie count and excellent with exercise and yet over the last week I\'ve gained two pounds rather then lost. WTF???? Keep up the good work and Belated Happy Birthday!
Thanks Laurie! :)
Been thinking about you lately - I find that it takes a little while for ppl to disappear before I realize they are gone, but I eventually figure it out. Guess that means I\'m either obtuse or self absorbed. :) But either way, I missed you. I\'m sorry your inlaws and mom were such downers - sometimes friends are WAY better than family. But so glad to hear that you are feeling like your depression is behind you. I\'ve suffered from it in the past, it\'s not easy to kick it. And it\'s hard to realize that sometimes it\'s ok to be sad - that does not mean we are depressed, it means we are human. Also glad you are sticking with the bootcamp - keep in mind that this is a drastic change for your body and it might go into shock and feel it has to \"store\" up some calories/fat until it gets used to the new schedule. So stick with it and you\'ll see results. I read on pinterest that it takes something like 4-6 weeks for you to notice a difference in your body and up to 12 weeks for your friends to notice, so have patience and perseverence. And good luck on your test.
Thanks poly! I\'m sticking with it, it\'s a 6 week program. I don\'t know if they\'ll offer another one next semester, but I\'m going to continue going to the gym. I also get to use the local YMCA too, so I\'m going to look into what groups I can get into there too. Social anxiety is kind of keeping me from getting out there and doing these things though, so I\'m working on kicking my butt into it. Only reason I\'m doing this one is because a classmate is there with me.
Have your classmate look into something else with you too. That way you are signed up already, and if she wants to come she can, otherwise you\'re still obligated. I know if I take a break in between, then I won\'t go back! Wonder if the the exercise is helping your mood? Not only the chemicals it releases but you\'re so proud of yourself too! Which you should be!