Where is the Zeal?
I’m trying to figure out what has happened to all the zeal and ambition I used to have. My brain started spinning around on this topic after reading about the life of Julia Child. She’s always been so inspirational to me. She most definitely had that zeal. I remember back a few years ago, in 2011, I quit an awful job so I could go out on my own, do my blog, and be successful. I don’t’ think I ever had in my head I would be ‘rich’ or anything, but I at least thought I would make enough to be comfortable. I was a ‘minister’ at the time. I had joined this school that I now view as very shady. It was a degree to be a New Thought Minister, PhD, etc. I think I’ve since decided the school was really more about making money out of the naive folks in the New Thought movement. It wasn’t accredited and the coursework SURELY didn’t deserve the title of “PhD.” I feel like it insults people who have real PhD’s.
Just to back up some. I used to be very much into New Thought. I had found “The Secret” and I finally started to feel that my life could be happy. I don’t know if I ever believed that before. I think I thought life was supposed to be some drudgery that you got through until you finally died. I used to look forward to death. I believed that I would go to Heaven or the Astral Plane… or something. Anything but this life was fine at the time.
The Secret had given me hope that my dreams could come true. I believed that I could do something I loved and be successful at it. Somewhere along the way my belief in The Secret and The Law of Attraction completely imploded. Here I am 4 years later and I feel similar to how I did before I found The Secret. I feel like is drudgery again. I also have no direction or real hope that I can do much of anything. That has been my real struggle lately. How can I get some of that hope back? I’ve been looking into Tibetan Buddhism this year. I love it. I think it is a good solid path that has a lot of potential to help me. However, I’m finding that it still isn’t giving me that same hope and joyful anticipation for the future. I honestly dread the future. I always feel like something bad is coming.
I wish I could believe New Thought now… The Law of Attraction. I do believe some of it. I’ve seen enough Synchronicity to know there is some truth to it, but I don’t believe it is as cut and dry as the movie makes it seem.
I’ve tried to incorporate some of the New Thought books back into my spiritual life. I’m having trouble, honestly. It’s one of those things that I feel I NEED to believe, but I don’t know if I do. Does that make sense? As I said, I believe in synchronicity…most definitely… but I am unsure of the mechanism behind it. The God part and The Bible verses hang me up now too.
So many New Thought authors seem to want to bring God into the Law of Attraction, or they will quote bible verses and try and make it fit their philosophy. It really frustrates me when they do this. I feel if I want to do a study of The Bible, I would look to people like Thomas Merton or The Episcopal Church. I think New Thoughters have a skewed view of the Bible sometime. They squeeze a square peg in a circular hole. I’m sure some parts COULD fit, but I prefer to look at books that don’t try to interweave spirituality into The Law of Attraction too much, books like Think and Grow Rich, for example.
I’m very agnostic about God right now. I feel my image and beliefs about God have flip-flopped so much over the years that I really have no solid belief on him/her. Since trying to choose Tibetan Buddhism as my path, I’ve tried to not focus on the God-part so much. I consider myself agnostic about God.
Tibetan Buddhism is my sacred path and I feel New Thought is my NEEDED path to go along with it. I want to keep them separate though. Buddhism makes me a more peaceful and loving person. That is where my devotion is. New Thought helps me to move forward and have hope. I definitely believe they can compliment each other, but I don’t want to combine them. This is part of my thoughts on how they could fit. Buddhism believes in Karma. You do good and you get good things. You do bad and you get bad things. That’s a simplified version of it, but who defines what is “good or bad?” My thinking is by focusing on what we want and using the New Thought teachings set that intention of our goals we can then guide the Karma to what we would feel is “good.” I’ve never read any Buddhist teachings on how the “good or bad” is defined, but this makes sense to me.
I think I went out on a tangent more than I realized. Lol My point is. I’m lacking hope and motivation and I’m TRYING to get it back and this is my approach right now. I definitely hope I can some how believe that I can achieve great things again. Julia Child and The Dalai Lama are the two people that sum up my hope and joy right now. The Dalai Lama represents a spiritual path that I love. And Julia Child represents a fearless woman who lived her passion. I also love her cookbooks. Lol
I haven’t even been interested in cooking or eating lately. It seems everything tastes like cardboard to me lately.
This is my first real journal entry here. It is a bit all over the place, but I felt the need to write about this. Writing in old dusty books that no one will ever read seems pointless to me, but writing here where I know eyes will see this helps me to feel heard. Thank you all for listening. :)
Just to back up some. I used to be very much into New Thought. I had found “The Secret” and I finally started to feel that my life could be happy. I don’t know if I ever believed that before. I think I thought life was supposed to be some drudgery that you got through until you finally died. I used to look forward to death. I believed that I would go to Heaven or the Astral Plane… or something. Anything but this life was fine at the time.
The Secret had given me hope that my dreams could come true. I believed that I could do something I loved and be successful at it. Somewhere along the way my belief in The Secret and The Law of Attraction completely imploded. Here I am 4 years later and I feel similar to how I did before I found The Secret. I feel like is drudgery again. I also have no direction or real hope that I can do much of anything. That has been my real struggle lately. How can I get some of that hope back? I’ve been looking into Tibetan Buddhism this year. I love it. I think it is a good solid path that has a lot of potential to help me. However, I’m finding that it still isn’t giving me that same hope and joyful anticipation for the future. I honestly dread the future. I always feel like something bad is coming.
I wish I could believe New Thought now… The Law of Attraction. I do believe some of it. I’ve seen enough Synchronicity to know there is some truth to it, but I don’t believe it is as cut and dry as the movie makes it seem.
I’ve tried to incorporate some of the New Thought books back into my spiritual life. I’m having trouble, honestly. It’s one of those things that I feel I NEED to believe, but I don’t know if I do. Does that make sense? As I said, I believe in synchronicity…most definitely… but I am unsure of the mechanism behind it. The God part and The Bible verses hang me up now too.
So many New Thought authors seem to want to bring God into the Law of Attraction, or they will quote bible verses and try and make it fit their philosophy. It really frustrates me when they do this. I feel if I want to do a study of The Bible, I would look to people like Thomas Merton or The Episcopal Church. I think New Thoughters have a skewed view of the Bible sometime. They squeeze a square peg in a circular hole. I’m sure some parts COULD fit, but I prefer to look at books that don’t try to interweave spirituality into The Law of Attraction too much, books like Think and Grow Rich, for example.
I’m very agnostic about God right now. I feel my image and beliefs about God have flip-flopped so much over the years that I really have no solid belief on him/her. Since trying to choose Tibetan Buddhism as my path, I’ve tried to not focus on the God-part so much. I consider myself agnostic about God.
Tibetan Buddhism is my sacred path and I feel New Thought is my NEEDED path to go along with it. I want to keep them separate though. Buddhism makes me a more peaceful and loving person. That is where my devotion is. New Thought helps me to move forward and have hope. I definitely believe they can compliment each other, but I don’t want to combine them. This is part of my thoughts on how they could fit. Buddhism believes in Karma. You do good and you get good things. You do bad and you get bad things. That’s a simplified version of it, but who defines what is “good or bad?” My thinking is by focusing on what we want and using the New Thought teachings set that intention of our goals we can then guide the Karma to what we would feel is “good.” I’ve never read any Buddhist teachings on how the “good or bad” is defined, but this makes sense to me.
I think I went out on a tangent more than I realized. Lol My point is. I’m lacking hope and motivation and I’m TRYING to get it back and this is my approach right now. I definitely hope I can some how believe that I can achieve great things again. Julia Child and The Dalai Lama are the two people that sum up my hope and joy right now. The Dalai Lama represents a spiritual path that I love. And Julia Child represents a fearless woman who lived her passion. I also love her cookbooks. Lol
I haven’t even been interested in cooking or eating lately. It seems everything tastes like cardboard to me lately.
This is my first real journal entry here. It is a bit all over the place, but I felt the need to write about this. Writing in old dusty books that no one will ever read seems pointless to me, but writing here where I know eyes will see this helps me to feel heard. Thank you all for listening. :)
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