Where is my voice?
I used to have strong opinions. Lately, when I hear someone make comments about the government, or gun control, or maybe something that seems racist, I just sit there and say nothing. I used to argue. Or at a minimum express my conflicting opinion. Now, nothing. I think it's the depression, not the medication. I seem so self-centered. I only think about myself. Obsess with how awful I feel. This isn't me. The medication hasn't fully kicked in yet. I still have such dark thoughts, just less often.
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Scared. Why does everything about the future scare me so much? Even just tomorrow, let alone getting my taxes done, looking for a job, getting a job, what will I do for money if I can\'t work? Good grief! Just can\'t stop! I want to be myself again. I want my confidence back. I want some kind of joy back. I don\'t like who I\'ve become these last couple of months. But I\'m hoping that since I\'ve only been back on the meds about 2 weeks, maybe 3, that it\'ll get better. Just have to hang on until then. Not sure I can though. Still getting dark thoughts.