Where is my heart
As i sit here today thinking of all my actions over the last several days, I can see that I am still trying to bring her home and resume a relationship with her, even after all that has happened.
Looking at myself from afar, I see a desperate man. I see that I am willing to be the only one that changes, and that I am setting myself up for another fall. Why is this man doing this to himself. Why cant he get a hold of himself and just push forward? I see maybe pride. Dont want to have failed in a marriage and dont want another man being in my place., loneliness; dont want to spend life alone. I just know that I dont want my daughter to be without her mother. and I dont know if another mom would devote the time she needed. i am just searching and looking for answers to these questions in my heart and soul.
Well, once again the Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde came out. The hopes i build up are like dust in the wind; only to be blown down and out of my reach. I am chasing clouds, seeing them in eyes but they are always out of my reach.
Looking at myself from afar, I see a desperate man. I see that I am willing to be the only one that changes, and that I am setting myself up for another fall. Why is this man doing this to himself. Why cant he get a hold of himself and just push forward? I see maybe pride. Dont want to have failed in a marriage and dont want another man being in my place., loneliness; dont want to spend life alone. I just know that I dont want my daughter to be without her mother. and I dont know if another mom would devote the time she needed. i am just searching and looking for answers to these questions in my heart and soul.
Well, once again the Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde came out. The hopes i build up are like dust in the wind; only to be blown down and out of my reach. I am chasing clouds, seeing them in eyes but they are always out of my reach.
Replies
You may have been in love with an illusion of who you thought she was. I\'ve been there. When I started dating men with children, those kids loved me and vice versa. You\'re grieving right now, and understandably so, but in time, you\'ll see her for who and what she really is and if you get out to the right places...maybe even at your daugter\'s daycare or school, or church, you\'ll meet a quality woman who will also love your daughter as her own. It does happen. Hang in there.
thanks. this sadness is tearing me apart