where I'm at right now

I woke up at about 1:30 feeling like absolute garbage. It was horrid. "Life has no point" kind of feeling. I am trying desperately to come back from a huge relapse that started about two years ago. I lost a good job and a lot of self-discipline. I feel lost. I also destroyed my relationship with my mother. Just a bunch of crap. and I'm trying to rebuild. I'm doing as many right things as I can think of, both advice from my sponsor, advice from around the tables, advice from research, advice from friends. I'm now looking for what to do in the meantime. between now and rebuilt. From one stage of growth to the next. What do I do in this exact moment.