where i go from here

I don't know what to do say or anything. maybe i need to just be silent and not speak. Just do. Just be. Day by day but I have to atlk at work . It seems like I am so unsure of my self around new strong personalities. I just don't know amymore. I havent prayed worked out or have done anything to fill my cup. i tore down my husband when he is at his worst i smoke and drank this weekend. i need to get away i don't like the picture i show to the world. how do i begin to build a new me.