Where Do I Ever Begin

Where do I begin, what do I say, how do I, or do I explain my disappearance, maybe it doesn't matter really.  When my husband passed away many things started to happen and change and life reshaped itself probably faster then what one would expect.  My husband under no circumstances wanted me to stay in that big old house.  But I couldn't think that far ahead right away plus I still had my soul cat and service cat Angel so life just slowly moved on.  I did some long overdue changes to the house but surprisingly I never really felt like it was me any more.  After a few months Angels health took a turn, she was 15, and I still say to this day she felt ok mom needs to move on to the next chapter of her life it's time for me to go so she went to heaven.

I started seeing what was out there for apartments and came across a 55 plus complex.  I knew the moment I saw it that it was where I was going to move.  So the house was sold and I started over.  It was a real educational time, learning to be really me, for life to be me, freedom, I think everyone can get it.

I've connected with some folks, made new friends, have flexed my wings and really learned about me.  Health wise where I live  is a gift in that my friends in the wing I live in are always looking out for me, we look out for each other really, and there's huge reassurance in that.

There are still times where loneliness is very much there, where it would just be nice to have someone to talk with over a meal but you work it out.  

I guess the hardest part is my health issues.  Lupus gets real cranky sometimes and then it would be nice to have a support right next to you, or when my blood sugar plummets at night.  When I had Angel she would wake me up when that happened but one adjusts.

I'm not going to ramble on too long right now.  The thought of daily strength had been haunting me for quite some time now as we're the so many unbelievable people I had found  and I suddenly just felt this is what I needed and wanted so here I am.

I don't know who is still around or what the status is but I just needed to get myself back again.

Have a great day everyone.