Where Do I Begin
I know, I haven't journaled for awhile, I guess it's just not me. It has been a little over a year since I lost my other half.. So difficult for me as he WAS my life. When you are together with that special someone since the age of 15, what stage haven't you been thru together?? I will admit, I do have more better days than a year ago.I feel like I am living for my kids, for my grandkids, but not for ME. Our fairy tale life came to an end in July 2007. I still get so frustrated that we struggled so much to get to that special place, you know the place where it goes back to just the two of you, with time together alone again, the freedom to travel and enjoy life in a whole new dimension. Yes, I can sit back and be happy for the memories we DID have but I think the selfishness part of me will never be able to be o.k. with the time we DID NOT have. I try to keep that glimmer of HOPE that maybe further down this path I will smile and it will be a geniune one. Sometimes the lonliness really pushes me over the edge. No matter what was going on, that one person who gave you that big hug and told you everything would be o.k. and would work out, and it ALWAYS did. I am pushing thru every day and I thank all of you so much for standing behind me. I KNOW no one can change my thinking, or my attitude but me, and I am working on that. I just need to learn how to live in this world alone, something I have NEVER done. I think I feel totally abondoned......
Replies
We are with you Alice. You\'re not abandoned either; God is with you as He is with all of us. It took me a while but I trust God; He knows what He is doing. The loneliness left me one day and I did not realize it at first. One day it did not bother me to be in this empty house anymore. Then it hit me, I may be alone but I\'m not lonely. Does that make any sense? Whatever lies ahead, God has it all planned out for you. Just take each day as it comes. Remember the past and cherish it, but try not to dwell there. Take care Alice. Joe
I understand how you feel..We do get better, but we have lost so much. There will always be an empty part of our heart gone..The emotions behind all that is so over whelming some times..Like you said..just keep pushing for a better day..Love, Glenda
Everyone here who has lost their true love knows just how you feel. It takes a lot of time to feel \"better\" about our new lives. I\'m glad you are having some good days. It\'s good to be living for your kids and grandkids, I am doing the same. Yet it would be nice to have some life of our own. I hope you find that - me too!