When Will This Frustration With These Teachers END!??!

Well, our weekend is not quite over, as tomorrow is a holiday, but that's not to say we haven't had our share of homework to do this weekend..  which in itself is annoying, considering that I'm living in an area that is supposed to have a "No Homework on Holidays" policy.  But apparantly, incomplete work isn't included in that, which left us with a ton of stuff to do, yet again.   Since my son's teacher is "a very busy woman", I decided on Wednesday to write her a note about a few things that I wanted to discuss with her.  She returned the note to me on Thursday with her replies.  I still sit here shaking my head with my jaw to the floor at her responses.   Point #1 - My son had SOO much work to do his week that he didn't have time to complete all of his spelling.  He completed what I felt were the most important questions, and I wrote her a note explaining the situation - that there just wasn't enough time.  Her response:  "His spelling SHOULD have been one in class but he just SAT THERE AND DID NOTHING."  OMG!  I just can't believe this is her response!!  And this is a teacher that is supposed to have 10+ years working with special needs children!!    First of all, she should KNOW that some days are going to be like that for a child with ADHD!  And SECOND of all, she's just going to LET him sit there and not do it?!?!  WHY is she not encouraging him to do his work!?  Is that not part of her job?!  I mean, what kind of a teacher IS she?!  I have a clause in his IEP about encouraging him and rewarding him when it comes to work - does that not apply here?!  I'm just completely floored!!   Point #2 - He was missing some Social Studies work, so she had him take home another student's book to catch up on missing notes.  Problem is, he brought home the other book but not his own to write it in.  So asked the teacher if she could remind him to bring home his book the following day.  To THAT she said:  "I TOLD him what he needed to bring. I have other students to work with.  What he did with his book, one only knows."  Isn't that nice?!  I've talked to her so many times about the forgetfulness issue, and she just seems to think that "he's old enough to have to learn to do it himself".  OMG.  Again, it's not looking like she's going to change anything or try any strategies, because she is pretty much telling me it's hopeless.  :(  Point #3 and 4 - I mentioned about the fact that since we're missing so many deadlines and tests due to my not knowing about them, and if she could email me the information instead of relying on his memory.  I also asked her to please focus on the few points I am trying with the new rewards system.  Both of those points were completely ignored - she didn't even respond to either of them!   :( It's just so frustrating when I'm trying so much and literally exhausting myself, physically and mentally and emotionally.. and she is adding SO much to my daily stress level.   I manage okay through the day.. but when I pick him up from school each day, the sick feeling in my stomach is sometimes unbearable, because I know I'm in for nothing but stress and frustration and confusion  right up until bedtime.   Anyway, aside from all of that, we worked like crazy this weekend, and we did have a wonderful day on Friday at the museum.. Tomorrow we can hopefully finish studying early in the morning and try to enjoy some cuddle time, stress free.  (for a little while..)