When will things be back to normal?
I'm wondering when things will return to some semblance of normal again. When will I have a good time, and then think, I don't see my daughter or grandchildren. When will someone ask me how many children I have and how old they are and not feel creepy about it. They say, " I didn't know you had a daughter." I try to avoid the questions or evade the detailed answers. It makes me nauseated. How can I explain why, when I don't really understand it myself? I was always early to everything, all my life. I was early to work the first 16 years at my job, now I barely make it there on time. I forget hair appointments. Let the laundry go. I can't quite get to the grocery store. I feel like my world has been turned upside down. It just isn't making sense to me anymore. Will I ever have a sense of peace or satisfaction or is this my life now? I find myself just wasting time doing nothing at all quite frankly. I look forward to days off but they are actually worse. I have alot to accomplish, but spend alot of time thinking about things that make me sad.
Replies
Ohh, Nancy, it does get difficult, and I hope and pray you will finally say to yourself, I\'ve got to go on. I\'ve been there too. I finally told myself there\'s just too much life I am missing being sad. Hang in there and try to concentrate on you, give yourself a treat... a manicure, a bubble bath, watch a funny movie. Try to laugh or read a good book. Distraction does help. Please know that I care and I am keeping you in my prayers.
Much love, Judy
Thank you Judy for your comment. I hope that you have done some of these things for yourself. You give so much support. You are truly a blessing. Take good care. Love Nancy
Hi Nancy-was just reading some of your journals. Our EA\'s are the same age. But had to say something here-this is where I am--I am so useless these days is pathetic-I am self employed-make drapery and just can\'t get the will power to get these orders done!! I do feel better having put a stop to the abuse but is a long way to go to be myself again--have heard the words get over it far to many times from DIL and son and its such a joke--yeh-ok-if only it was that easy. Wonder lots is he over it?? Does he waste his days thinking about us?? Guessing not-probably just gets stoned again...hugs jen