When will the sadness end?

So I actually woke up fighting the blankets this morning. Disterbing dreams has me rattled to the core. I was dreaming that I was being attacked/ raped by multiple people. Why? What is causing me to have this disturbing dream.  I drove to work holding my 10yr olds hand crying all the way there. She probably thinks I crazy. I dont know if its just over thinking things and my  mind racing all the time that is making me lose it. I feel like I have no motivation to do anything. I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I dont want anyone touching me, hugs, nothing. I feel so guarded. My space has been invaded. My biggest supported in not available to help me. I have no family and I am paranoid my husband will use all of this depression craziness against me to take my  kids away if I left him. He claims he wouldn't but I cant trust ANYONE! I cant deal wit this emotional roller coaster anymore!