When Reality Finally Hits it Hurts even MORE.

The day will come for all of us going through the heartache of Divorce when we have to tell ourselvs " No amount of HOPE, PRAYERS, TEARS OR THERAPY is going to change the REALITY of our situation. No matter how much "Soul Searching" and "Deep inner Reflection" we do on ourselves to try to figure out " What went wrong" or "When was it Exactly that he just STOPPED LOVING ME" Trying to convince "OURSELVES" that if WE are willing to work on the problems everything will be OK. Here's the PROBLEM with that therory HE HAS TO BE WILLING TOO and When the day comes that YOU realize HE JUST DOESN'T WANT YOU OR THE FAMILY YOU CREATED TOGETHER ANYMORE. That is when REALITY finally punches you in the stomache. He has been gone almost 5 months now and I have been holding off on Lawyers and courts and living off of what I make and the little bit of money he gives me every month. I was under the 'HOPE" that a few months away from his family he is going to hit rock bottom and realize he made the biggest mistake of his LIFE and come crawling and begging back RIGHT? I mean that's what everyone tells us at first " He'll be back don't worry THEY ALL COME BACK BEGGING FOR FORGIVENESS WHEN THEY REALIZE" Well for some of us that may never happen............
In fact that's exactly what is happening to me. He has NO SIGNS OF REMORSE IN FACT HE IS CONVINCED HE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG AT ALL. He hasn't hurt the kids they will be fine, he hasn't hurt me it gets easier with time he said. Matter of fact he believes that HE DID ALL THIS TO HELP US??????? YOU'LL SEE ONE DAY YOU WILL REALIZE THIS WAS THE BEST THING FOR YOU. So starting NOW i'm not giving him one more second of MY TIME HE ALREADY HAD 22 YEARS OF MY TIME AND LIFE AND HE BLEW IT!!!!!! All the Attorney and court stuff is in order and HE will be served this week. It took ME awhile to get here and even though I am starting to feel a little of MY POWER COMING BACK it still hurts when that REALITY slaps you accross the face.