When My Pie * (my Heart) will be Whole Again

I think of my  heart as a pie that has been cut into four pieces.  Each of those four pieces are my children.  But in one of the pieces of my pie (heart) there has been a piece cut out.
 The rest of the pieces of my heart are intact.  The one that has a chunk taken out of it is my son Kenny who is now in Heaven.  So now my pie has only 3 and 3/4 pieces. 
Now my pie has been cut and a piece taken out I am sure what to do. Cause that part that is missing is the part that hurts so bad, that missing piece makes me want cry, to ask why, to feel despair, to feel lonely, pain as I have never felt before, to feel sadness like I never felt before
Now that that piece has been removed from my pie(my heart) can never in this life feel whole again.  My pie(my heart) is now damaged and can never be whole again until the day that is coming when I see my son again.
When all my children and my life is ended and we are all joined in our Heavenly home, then that will be the day when my pie(heart) will be whole again.  And as we sit around a table and take a look at each other's faces, we will know that story is now told. Mommy and her pie(heart) has now been put back whole.  We will laugh and share our love and none of us will ever feel pain again because our pies(hearts) are now together again and our journey to home has ended and our pie(heart) will be safe  forevermore.  That is when my PIE(HEART) will be WHOLE again.
I love you my children:  Kenny, Jeffrey, Brent, Shawn.  Your loving mom.
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

DEAREST SANDY THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE SO LUCKY TO AVE YOUR OTHER 3 SONS. NOT THAT THET CAN TAKE THE PLACE OF YOUR DEAR SON KENNY. YOUR GRIEF AND PAIN IS SO REAL BUT LIKE I SAID SOME DAY THAT PAINWILL NOT BE AS GREAT. JUST LIKE ME AFTER 7 YEARS SOME DAYS ARE GOOD SOME ARE HORRIBLE I,LL SEE SOMETHING THAT REMINDS ME OF HER AND I,AM SO DEVASTED BUT IT GETS BETTER LOTS OF LOVE AND HUGS CHARCO
Livingjuicy
Livingjuicy

I understand what you are saying with this pie analogy. I had never thought of it quite in that way yet this resonates for sure. Thank you for sharing how you are feeling. I think our journey towards wholeness lasts a life time and I\'m not sure if we can ever feel it again? Sending you just what you need for today and it feels like a (((hug))) My thoughts are with you. Your friend, Joanie
Sandi2947
Sandi2947

Thank you to both of you for your lovely comments. No my pie(heart) will never be whole until my family is all together again one day. Sandi
biowoman
biowoman

I think that we will never be whole again. I think that we learn to cope with the loss...and then begin to see that there is still good all around us...that we can celebrate with our other children...we can enjoy the things we used to...while carrying our loss with us. Take care of you...love and hugs...Karen
deleted_user
deleted_user

You are never whole again, but you do learn to live and have happiness again. The hole in your heart becomes filled with beautiful memories. He will never be far from you. You will carry him with you always. But you will move forward and begin to put your life back together. Not the same as before, but you will see the beauty this world holds again. Remember, as long as you come here, you will never be alone in your journey. hugs j
Robin4
Robin4

I view my life as puzzl pieces. When my son died, a puzzle piece (much like your pie) was missing. I tried tried to put that puzzle back together. It couldn\'t be done. Nothing could change that there was a missing piece. Now over time, I\'ve learned to make a new picture with those puzzle pieces. The picture doesn\'t even resemble the picture I once made with all my boys here but slowly the picture is becoming beautiful again and like you said, when we are together again, it will be glorious. It will get better in time, it takes such a long time but slowly ever so slowly the sun rises. Here for you. Love Robin