When it hits the fan

All hell broke loose this morning between my mother and me.  She was yelling, making fun of me, saying the most hurtful things she could think of and I just couldn't keep my big mouth shut.  So MAD at myself for falling into the "mom trap" I'll call it.  She now is giving me the silent treatment, I mean to the point it feels like she isn't even here.  She needs me as much as I need her and I feel like her slave and her scapegoat, I guess you could say.  I'm really going to have to save money to get outta here.  I still find myself popping off at the mouth, just to myself at this point.  I don't know if she'll ever talk to me again. I have never felt more downtrodden and humiliated by what she said to me this morning.  Just glad my son wasn't there.  When I finally did arrive to destination, friends were THERE for me like crazy good feelings.