When is my side addressed? In a real way?
How dare you hold anything about not getting to your email yet.. when have we addressed my email in April about all the ways you've made me 2nd to you? The one I wrote after about 3 weeks after our weekend in March, the last weekend it seems that it was good. You're right is not addressing it, it's a response that says fuck you, I'm going to keep doing it anyways... and then you did.
You've been doing this for a long time.. extending back into Christmas and before..
I was never given the true space and time to go through the insane, and normal, process of reeling from your great betrayals... instead you eventually just use it all against me.. and still are by calling me crazy, by saying I had all the power, by withholding from me all this time, by saying I wasn't safe, by not having empathy, by not having compassion. That feels like the maddening dismissals that I got everyday from my ex. You aren't my ex, but this.. dismissal, turning it on me, not believing in me, projection, lack of empathy...
My God, how many times have I said you're doing something, and it wasn't given importance, listened to, and then I come to find out you start accusing me of the same thing? He did that too! Wake up!! I know you aren't inherently an abuser, but your actions make me doubt it! I know you learned them from your mother, from Joanna, and from your own issues with shame. But my god! it's like step by step you are becoming him. Can you see how I might have wondered if it was always there and I just fell victim to the cycle, to love bombing, to everything?
lack of empathy is the hallmark of narcissism. Everything else falls from there, and that is what caused everything to spiral. Sure, there was my daughter, the school, my divorce ending and the roller coaster from that. But if you were empathetic and loving and compassionate instead of throwing me to with the wolves emotionally, and even turning on me.. it wouldn't have spiraled like this, it just would have been a hard time.
Same is true to distorting history and refusing to hear me, see me, refusing to realize what the other side of the story is and making it equally important. God, all this time I did it for you... and I go through true mortal pain that isn't recognized, and is turned into "you're crazy".
I did what I could. I didn't deserve what you had done no matter how hard I was to deal with, no matter what you think I had done.
So, is this who you are? Is this who you are going to be? Or are you going to be radically different? Are you going to be the person I think/thought you were?
You've been doing this for a long time.. extending back into Christmas and before..
I was never given the true space and time to go through the insane, and normal, process of reeling from your great betrayals... instead you eventually just use it all against me.. and still are by calling me crazy, by saying I had all the power, by withholding from me all this time, by saying I wasn't safe, by not having empathy, by not having compassion. That feels like the maddening dismissals that I got everyday from my ex. You aren't my ex, but this.. dismissal, turning it on me, not believing in me, projection, lack of empathy...
My God, how many times have I said you're doing something, and it wasn't given importance, listened to, and then I come to find out you start accusing me of the same thing? He did that too! Wake up!! I know you aren't inherently an abuser, but your actions make me doubt it! I know you learned them from your mother, from Joanna, and from your own issues with shame. But my god! it's like step by step you are becoming him. Can you see how I might have wondered if it was always there and I just fell victim to the cycle, to love bombing, to everything?
lack of empathy is the hallmark of narcissism. Everything else falls from there, and that is what caused everything to spiral. Sure, there was my daughter, the school, my divorce ending and the roller coaster from that. But if you were empathetic and loving and compassionate instead of throwing me to with the wolves emotionally, and even turning on me.. it wouldn't have spiraled like this, it just would have been a hard time.
Same is true to distorting history and refusing to hear me, see me, refusing to realize what the other side of the story is and making it equally important. God, all this time I did it for you... and I go through true mortal pain that isn't recognized, and is turned into "you're crazy".
I did what I could. I didn't deserve what you had done no matter how hard I was to deal with, no matter what you think I had done.
So, is this who you are? Is this who you are going to be? Or are you going to be radically different? Are you going to be the person I think/thought you were?
Replies