When is Enuff... Enought...
Ya ever get the feelin ya runn up hill all the time...no matter how hard you try there is no pleasin kin folks...bust ya buns all ya life tryin to be a good dad.. mom... wife or hubby..just to get kicked to the curb... because ya become disable...Old... unable to please... .......Maybe it's just Me... but all my life I've been tryin to please...to gain the approval of those so special to me.. My Kids... my inlaws..my ex... ya know...Seems now like it was when I was A Kid........Nothing is good enuff ,...?Aint good enuff for the women on POF...Wasn't good enuff fur me ex wifey...Aint good enuff for my Son and his wifey........I'm only allowed to go visit when they say it's okay..her folks can dropp in anytime...but I have to call for an appointment... WHY...?then he call up and say Hey Dad you want to hang out........I'm tired achey and don't feel like drivin over... so..hey why don't you come over...Nope....So I have a senior moment blow a fuse...tell him to kiss off...My youngest son he takes my three wheeler andgoes to play X-box with Junior... ......Actually the whole come over thing was...Russ Jr.. wanted to borrow my youngest sons X-boxdidn't have any real need for Dad... just kinda...looked good tho..So when my youngest pedals his X-box over... they get to talkin about Dad........Russ jr.. he says ...World don't evolve around old men on SSI.....Cool huh...what am I suppose to think about this..only time I ever see him and grandson is whenwifey gets ticked and he gotta leave the house.. kid in tow......Where he go...Yepp makes tracks to Dad's..When someting gets broke and needs fixin...Where they go.... Yepp makes tracks to Dad'sWhy...Just when you think ya ate the last shovel full of Chit...Life hand you another one chocked plum full...When is Enuff....Enough....Should a parent demand Respect...?Is it wrong to want to be respected.....?....Why do I feel as worthless as I was told I was gonna be as a kid..How do you fight against an abusive past that keeps ...diggin at your soul....as relentless as Chronic Pain...If that doctor that told me at 30... my body was twice as old as my age...reckon I'm doin pretty good for 112........Guess I shouldn't whine so much....just wish my kids show me a little respect... but even my own dad said... outta all his kids...I was different... he wished he said..."I wish all my kids grew up to be like you..."Wow... Dad... that's kinda heavy..They loved Dad... but they was busy..........They didn't show Dad the kind of love and respect I did..Cause I grew up without my dad...i got to spend 6 wonderful years with him..6 years to try to replace a life time of seperation...The bible says to Honor your Mother and Father..........So as I'm wondering Don't they teach that in Church anymore..My son and his wifey go every sunday.. wensday nite... he preaches at me about my salvations...but if I don't go to the church they go too...What... I'm not good enuff.......Well I've had enough...I got to figure out how to live my life in this World of selfishness..where folks are Lovers of money ...rather than lovers of righteousness......The only thing I Owe anyone....Is Love.......Peace
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