When I was little..

When i was six my family broke apart and I had to choose who to live with... I knew if I made a choice  I would hurt one of them. It hurt my stomach I didnt want daddy to move out or mommy to be sad anymore. Selfishly all I could think of was who will love me I had no idiea what was going on and I didnt care I just wanted things to go back to how they where in the end i went with my mother. But it was short lived I dont remember much about that time but I do remember going to stay with my father for a few months till mom could find a place. I was a daddys girl I loved my father and I was happy with this. After that I just remember never wanting to go back to my mother a fear took place in the core of my existance even thinking about it i know know it was becuse of my fathers lies... his endless threataning to kill himself if id ever leave.