When does it stop?

Well I've tried to stay positive, I've tried to Just put all the bad I the past and focus on the future, my children. But I found my dog dead yesterday... When does the death and pain the heartache when does it stop?? Why must I continue to have this pain brought to my by death? I am so tired of crying and feeling anger. I want to laugh, smile. I want to be me again..I'm not sure where I Lost myself but I 31st be back..